Debt Support Group

I need tips for getting my family's finances under control.  I feel like we are drowning in debt and will never be out.  Here's our situation:

Our bills are about $4000 per month (Mortgage alone is $1325 + insurance of $125).

I bring home $2000 per month as a teacher and my husband sells cars on commission and sales have been bad since the economy is bad.  He needs to clear at least $3000 per month just so we can pay bills, buy groceries, get gas, etc.  Lately he has not made enough.  Our mortagage company has let us skip 2 payments and the next one is due Oct. 25, but we won't be able to pay it on time.

I don't see how our situation will get better.  It will probably get worse.  I have $130,000 in student loans (I worked while I was in college, but used loan to survive while getting my bachelor's and master's degrees...wish I hadn't done that now...)  I am not paying on my loans yet, but when I start the lowest payment will probably be $500/month.  We already pay $300 towards my husband's loans (he owes $40,000).

We have two kids.  R.J. is almost 7 and Katelyn is 8 months.  Our family is complete and now I am worried about college expenses in the future for them.  R.J. participates in football and takes piano lessons, but I had to put his lessons on hold this month because the money just wasn't there...I hated to do that.

At this point, we have talked about possibly selling our house and moving to Florida (my husband's parents live there) so that my husband can find a better job).  We live in a small town in Mississippi and there are not a lot of opportunities her for high paying jobs.  Also, although I love my job, I am thinking of trying to get a higher paying job at junior college or university.  Right now I am under contract until May though.

Any tips or ideas would be appreciated.

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Hey there and welcome!  There is good support here and it is nice not to feel alone.

You mention your bills are $4K a month.  Do you have debts besides mortgage and student loan?  The difficulty with student loan debt is that, even though it's insured against death or disability and they will work with you on payments, it is not dischargeable in bankruptcy.  Have you confirmed what your payment is going to be and when it is going to start? 

It does sound like the house is a burden for you right now and your husband needs a more secure income.  Sometimes it takes a complete change to get out of the hole.  Our situation improved dramatically when we moved from a big city with high costs to a small town (outside a medium sized city) with good schools and low cost of living.

If there is any room to maneuver in the 4K (gym memberships, cable, expensive car, high food costs, etc) now would be the time.  If there is significant credit card debt bankruptcy might be something to at least consider. 

I will just say as others have said here, you are not your debt.  This isn't going to vanish overnight and in the meantime you need to enjoy the good things in your life as you work on ironing out the problem.  Best of luck!

I just want to let you know that you're not alone in owing over $100,000 in school bills. I too could only pay for my degrees and living expenses by taking out loans. There are A LOT of people in our shoes, and I'm not talking about people who went to school to become MD's and lawyers.

((hugs))

Hello and welcome to the board,

I don't know what you are looking for here but I will tell you there are no easy answers to debt. First you must have a mind set to get out of debt You must be willing many times to get out of your comfort zone when it comes to downsizing and cutting back. And above all it take a partnership with your husband.  I found that sticking to a plan was the hardest thing to do when I started this all but I also learned a couple of other things Things I missed a year ago that I thought I could never live without I don't miss anymore and you will find that out too.

Since you know you are heading for more debt (the student loans ) you are a very wise woman to start thinking of your repayment plan now. I have no idea what degree your husband has and I am sure when things were better he brought home good money. But as I look around where I live I am seeing Car lots and dealers falling like flies.  We needed some papers witnessed and notarized the other day and so we went to  the car lot I used to work at years ago. To my surprise after about 60 years in business it was no more. Maybe your husband should look for another line of work. If he has a degree in business cell phone places are expanding here in my town that might be an idea.

As far as cutting out things I started with all the insurances going for bigger discounts and deductibles then I worked my way to cable boxes sent back one that saved me 10.00 a month. I reworked our checking account to get interest on our living money that helped too. Reworked cell phone account Got our down to almost nothing wish I could say bye bye to it all together but I can't because of my husband's heart.  Little things using more coupons, joining clubs on line, that give us buy one get one free meals. Buying discount meals coupons from different places Some time since there is just two of us it is cheaper to eat out then to cook at home.  Making our own soups on the weekend and freezing them.

Adding powdered milk to formula is a  good way to stretch a buck. I did for my son and it never hurt him at all.  make your own baby food when the time comes that really saves. If you put instant oatmeal in a blender first then fix it It is the same as baby oatmeal. A lot cheaper.

And you being a teacher you might want to do some tutoring of children on the side. to make extra money.

 I read a book one  time and they cut back by not going into a grocery store. They figured they saved at least 10 percent a month by just putting off for a couple days going to the grocery store and eating what was in the house even if it was having pancakes or eggs fried potatoes and toast for supper one night.

I also read that the standard family if they really try can cut out about 50 or more dollars a month of waste.

I ended up cutting out about 70 or so. Also if you have credit cards work your interest down that helps a lot

Well good luck to you stick around we are great bunch of women

Mary Ann

 

Hello and welcome to the board.  Thank you so much for feeling comfortable enough to post your situation here.  Your school loan situation is not uncommon, and I'm very sorry.

I think it is *tremendous* that you are willing/able to move in order to make a better life for yourselves.  Sometimes geographic relocation is exactly what is needed, but it's not something that many people feel able to do.  Most folks find themselves in a "geographic inertia."

When DH and I were deeply embroiled in our debt repayment mode, moving is exactly what we did need to do.  We left California and moved to Oregon, and we have never looked back.  It still took us an additional 4 years to get out from under, but our lives have improved so much since we made the move that we just know we did the right thing.  We got out from under a mortgage that was too much house for us, and moved to something that we can afford.  That made all the difference for us.

I would absolutely encourage you to continue to explore the option of moving if you think that the opportunities are greater for your family.

I hope you continue to post!

All my best,
Danni
cl-phocid, Debt Support Group

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