Pregnant after 40

Wow, this is a tough one.

The fact that you already are expressing anxiety about it makes me think that you are already feeling overwhealmed--- and you're not even pregnant yet!

In my opinion (and that's all I have to offer you), the best way to try to conceive and to bring a baby into the world is if you are in a calm and peaceful state of mind, and if your household is calm and safe as well. It does not sound like that is the case with you, and that you already have your hands full with so much already.

As you know, a newborn baby takes a lot of time, energy, peacefulness,work and commitment, and if you are already basically strung-out and stressed by dealing with your two older sons, I think you would be feeling more overwhealmed and miserable rather than peaceful.

I am not trying to play amateur psychologist here, but I wonder if you are wanting a baby right now for some unhealthy reasons.  Perhaps to fulfill an emptiness that you have been feeling.  Or because you know you are getting older and this is your "last chance".  Or because babies are simpler and show unconditional love, and in a way you want to "escape" from having to deal with your oldest child's issues?

I don't know.  Only you can ask yourself these things and try to get in touch with what is really going on inside you.

But if you really want an honest opinion, I think it would not be a wise decision.

Please take it or leave it, and I wish you well.

well your other kids not withstanding...

i had my 3 year old just after i turned 40 and shes perfect and a joy in our lives

were pregnant with another now and im 43

Are there any concerns that your older son would do something harmful to the baby?  That would be my bigger concern, far more than something happening to you health-wise as a result of the pregnancy.  I won't lie, having a baby when you have significantly older kids can be very hard on you and them, a baby takes up SO MUCH TIME.  My kids have adjusted great and are generally easy kids (even before having her), but there is a twinge of resentment even from them sometimes. 

I'd think long and hard about whether your older (or younger) son is going to slip through the cracks if you have your hands full with a baby.  If you have your heart set, go for it, but do it with your eyes open to the challenges.