discussion title:
People who play the victim
So here's something that I've recently become aware (with the help of my therapist) *really* gets my goat - it's people who play the victim, act helpless, or try and invoke your pity as a way to get you to do something for them - rescue them, do it for them, tell them the answers, etc. I find it manipulative, and I guess I just want people to stand on their own two feet and at least make *some* effort.... but apart from that I haven't really got to the bottom of why it annoys me SO much. More work to do with the therapist there.
The real problem for me now is that my 5 year old DS goes into victim mode from time to time, often over the strangest things, and it makes me so mad I want to slap him! Before I just thought what a horrible mother I am - wanting to slap my son when he's unhappy. I still don't know how best to deal with it but at least I'm understanding where my own surge of irritation is coming from. At the moment the best I can do is to remove myself from the situation until my annoyance has died down, but I'm sure that now I've got a bit more understanding of what's happening I'll be able to work out some sort of strategy to deal with it. Who knows - maybe I'll even be able to use humour to diffuse the situation!
Carol
