Anger Management

Hi!

I'm Margaret and I'm mom to three great kids, ages 9, 3 1/2, and 10 months. I've just recently realized that I have a problem with anger management. I've made a lot of excuses for myself until now, but no matter what the circumstances are, I still need to get this anger under control.

Unfortunately, because I live in Hungary, I don't have resources available to me that would be if I were in the US. I can't find a therapist to work with me on this, or a course, or a group, or anything. It's simply not dealt with that way here. So I hope you all can help me here.

I'm overwhelmed with my 3 kids and the household. DH works all the time and is very minimally involved with the family as a result. My oldest had ADD, which is also not recognized or treated here in Hungary. My preschooler was an extremely high-needs baby and is now at a very whiny stage, and he's also weting the bed quite frequently at night. My baby is sweet, but just being a baby, he takes a lot of energy and time, and I'm just spread so thin. He also is up a lot at night and I'm feeling the effects of sleep deprivation.

I don't hit my kids anymore. I used to, but thank goodness, I haven't in quite a while. But I do yell, and I even use foul language with them, which I think is inexcusable. I just feel my head boiling and it comes out, especially with my 9 year old. I know it's very destructive to our relationship, and I want so much to be a good, loving mother to her (and to the boys, too, of course).

I'll be checking back here to see if anyone's actively posting here...I'd really appreciate a support group to help me with this, adn to learn from others in similar situations.

Hoping to get to know you...

Margaret

Hi Margaret. My name is Valerie. This is also my first time to this board and I am going thorugh very similar circumstances. I have two boys, William 2yrs and Zachary almost 3 months. I get so angry and scream at them and use profanity too. It IS unaccusable. I cry everyday and say ok....I am not going to get so mad to the point I flip out. Today is going to be a good day. It usually never is.

I live in the U.S., but I can't get help! My fiance is the only one working, but he makes to much for me to get medicaid (insurance for low-income). They have one clinic in our town that offers mental health counseling, but it goes on your pay scale. We just can't afford it. Medicine is too expensive too. Because of my anger I am very depressed. I know I probably am suffering from PPD, but hope it will soon pass.

I try to keep thinking that I want my children to grow up and be kind men. Not angry, abusive men.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. It's soo hard sometimes. That's what is so good about these message boards; they are like therapy. You find comfort in knowing you are not alone and it starts to make you feel better and have a better day.

Ok, I am just babbling. Here is my email if you would like to chat. rubybelle77@hotmail.com

Valerie

Just want to let you both know not to expect anything from this board - it's basically dead. I was going to re-apply to be the CL but changed my mind - we used to have a bit of a group going a few years back but all of those people have gone now. Anyway I pop by every now and then just out of habit. You can try the resource page or look through old posts for ideas. Otherwise I want to recommend a great book that my therapist put me onto - it's called Parent Effectiveness Training. I checked the website and there is a contact listed for Hungary.

Link to the book:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0609806939/qid=1101935755/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/002-0507887-2227228?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Website: http://www.gordontraining.com

Carol