Attachment Parenting

I am needing some advise. I have two little ones. DS has just turned two and DD is nine weeks. DD does NOT like being worn. Period. She stretches and arches her back and screams until you get her out, the moment she is out she is happy again. For the most part she actually prefers to be out of arms and just have us close by so we have her in a hammock in the living room for sleeping and attend to her the moment she needs it, at night she sleeps next to me, but once again prefers her space. She will sometimes let me carry her around in my arms, but its usually short lived and she wants down again or it starts to kill my back (previous injury).

I feel like she is getting ignored! I try and giver her all the attention I can, but having a two year old to run after as well its hard when she doesnt want to be worn! DS was SO full on when he was little, needing to be close at all times. I just feel like she is getting left out. I know of course that she isnt but the whole AP mum in me feels like she is just getting left out in the cold. What are some ideas you all can think of to include her in our day? Its just not practical to spend the day on the floor next to her, or to leave her in the hammock all day (although she really wouldnt mind that at all!). Of course if we were doing a more 'traditional' parenting then she would be a complete dream. Already sleeping through, easily satisfied and happy to just watch the world go by as long as she is dry and fed. Its like we have to actually make an effort to remember she is there.

I guess I am just feeling bad about it. DS is SO full on and I am sure he would come under the umbrella of 'spirited' so I am feeling like all my energy is going to him at the moment. I just dont want her to grow up thinking I care more about him. But how to include her when she isnt that keen on too much touch? I'm confused. We have tried all different holds and types of carrier, she doesnt like any of them. She will sometimes be happy lying on a pillow across my lap in the evenings, but more often then not just wiggles and squirms then eventually crying until I put her back in the hammock.

WWYD?

Have you tried asking at the babywearing board if there's a different wrap/sling/pouch you can use? I know some babies doesn't like certain holds or materials and if you can get that adjusted, you can wear her to your heart's content. :)

It really sounds like you know your dd though and what she needs and likes. Just continue to follow her cues like you're doing and have her be in the room with you as part of the action. If you can find a carrier that works, then it'll make life easier for you, but meanwhile, it's all right to enjoy your laid-back little one.

Loral

 

don't forget your purpose...

 

 

 

 

Does she not like being held at all or is it just the carrier?

Samantha loved to be held but was really content in her swing. I told DH when she was a newborn that I felt bad like I was ignoring her but she was happy. Dominic had to be in my arms constantly so it was a big adjustment for me to have a newborn that was happy without being held all the time. She too wanted her space at night if she wasn't nursing.

If she doesn't like being held at all I'd bring it up at your next well baby appointment and see what you're ped says.

Ok. Yup, my two were the same way. Dominic had to be touching me all the time and Samantha definitely did not. Even now, Samantha has started sleeping all night in her own bed and Dominic is still coming into ours.

It's amazing how different they can be isn't it?