Autism Spectrum Disorders

Hi. I don't "belong" to this board, so I hope that you don't mind me posting here. But I really need some help. This may be long so please bare with me.

My son is 3. Every since I found out I was pregnant with a little boy, I have worried to death about autism. So much that when he was a baby, I always really watched everything he did, maybe too much. When he was like a year old or so, I thought he may have autism. But I talked to the Dr and the Dr said that he needed to have more than a few symptoms. He said that there were so many symptoms to autism, that having 2 or 3 did not mean he was autistic. Well he did grow out of the playing with wheels on trucks, and playing with doors. He has been delayed in speech and developmental but he has improved 100% since last year. I blame the developmental on myself, because I had no clue what I needed to do with him while he was a baby to keep him up to par. He has started putting words together... and can say several sentences. But since about 4 months ago he has gotten where everything you say to him or ask him, he repeats it. A few people have told me that is normal, since he has just gotten pretty good with talking. While his preschool teacher is a bit worried. And that is where the autism started again.

I had put autism to rest. Yes I still paid attention to my son and worried here and there, but the realy worrying and stress ended. Then I put him in Headstart, to hopefully continue his speech therapy. Plus he does things for the teachers that he would NEVER do for me. The teacher at first didn't think anything about autism, until his speech therapist brought it up.. which really makes me mad. Because its the same therapist who came to the house to see him, and I had asked that man did he think he was autisitc, and he said NO, he was just a bit delayed. But he gets to school and tells the teacher, he thinks he is, and he is only with Timothy maybe 15 mins a week.    

Anyway the teacher brought it up to me. So his doctor is sending him to be evaluated, though he don't think he needs to be. But that appt won't be happening until like 9 months from now and I am going to go nuts. That is where I need ya'lls help. I know you're not doctors and can't diagnose, but I really would love your feedback.

Timothy is a VERY lovable child. He loves to hug and kiss. He loves everyone. He is always smiling. He is friendly to everyone most of the time, even to strangers. Heck an old woman who works at Walmart asked for a hug about a month ago, and he gave her one. He loves playing with kids. He loves to run and play. But at school, the teacher says that she has to encourage him to play with the kids and he never runs, and he is always shy and timid. And he is none of that at home. His mouth never hushes.. he is always running. He does have a temper when he don't get his way, but don't all 3 year olds? His tantrums are not any worse than any other kids that I have seen. He is bad to chew on toys and put things in his mouth. He can be whiney, but the thing is with that, he is only whiney when he is with me or his dad. All of his bad behavior that he has with me and his dad, he does NOT have it anywhere else, not even school. People who watches him, says he is one of the best behaved children they have ever seen. Sometimes he doesn''t answer when people talk to him, but I just figured that was all toddlers? Don't all kids of all ages of selective hearing? I do have a hard time to get him to eat. He will eat anything..not picky, he just would rather play instead of sitting and eating. He doesn't seem to feel guilty after getting in trouble.. Well sometimes he does but I think thats because he had to sit in timeout. Most of the bad behavior he has, I have noticed its when he is tired and/or sleepy. He is very smart. He picks up things easily. You can show him how to do something usually only once and he can do it after that IF he wants too.

Do you think he sounds autistic? Of course I don't want him to be, as I am sure all of ya'll was hoping your children were not. But I can't stand not knowing. It is tearing me apart. My husband keeps saying Timothy is fine... but he don't really know what autism is...

Please help!!!

As a parent of an 18 month old that is wrestling with the same question, I understand exactly what you are going through.  I have learned that being on the spectrum can mean and extremely wide range of things since there are so many symptoms that can reveal themselves from very mild to very severe or not at all.  A lot of what you say sounds like your little guy is ok, but I don't have a magic answer and couldn't be sure.  I know waiting 9 months for a dev ped. is maddening.

Let me throw out a possible alternative for you that helped ease our mind for the wait.  We were originally given a list of doctors and like you found the wait time to be between 6 months and 2 years.  However I was able to find 2 different doctor's that didn't take insurance.  The down side was paying $2500 out of pocket (on the credit card).  The upside was getting an appointment in 2 weeks with 3 hours of dedicated thorough time. 

If that sounds feasible, keep your other appointment (its always best to get a second opinion and 9 months will be here before you know it) but see if you can find someone that doesn't take insurance.  They may be able to take you much much quicker.

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this not knowing for sure stuff.  I know how maddening it can be.  I discovered on my own that my son had autism at 11.5 months old but it took another year for a doctor to agree with me and another two years before the school would agree.  (Lots of reasons for that) Anyhow, I would recomend making an appointment at a universtiy or teaching hospital, no matter how far away it is.  I had three peds, a developmental ped and a ped neurologist all tell me I was crazy and he didnt have autism until I finally took him to an Autism Clinic at UofM and they said within thirty min he had autism for sure.  I personally wouldnt mess around with anyone except an expert and even then get three opinions, just to put your mind at eased.  Ive discovered that most "professionals" really dont know what they are talking about.  Go with your gut, get a real eval and then when you are satisfied, put it to rest.  Best of luck.

Holly

Hi,

What does your gut tell you?  The gut is the most important thing.  Do you see quirks?  Do you not?  Is there something going on where you need to push further to get an answer?

I would look and follow those questions.  This helped me immensley when my kids were dx'd.  And they were dx'd late (meaning one high functioning, another sitting on the border of high functioing and actual autism)