This phase will pass, and it usually passes much quicker if you're *there* for him (M)
It may mean being there - literally - 24/7 till it passes - but you will be glad you did it that way later on, because after this passes, he'll just blossom! Just be calm and consistent. Here are some ideas that may help make things go smoother:
Separation/return games, and short practice separations are quite helpful. If baby is not comfy with dad (or others) just yet, try playing games with baby, like peek-a-boo and “where’s the baby?”
You can play peek-a-boo with baby's feet: With the baby lying on his back, lift the legs “up, up, up” so baby's feet hide your face, and then “Peek-a-boo!” as you open the legs wide. Often babies love to open their legs themselves to find you.
When you play “Where’s the Baby?”(or "where's [insert baby's name]), you drop a lightweight cloth (receiving blanket, hand towel, cloth diaper, etc.) over your baby’s head, ask, “Where’s the baby?” and pull the cloth again grinning and saying, “There you are!”
This is a game most babies LOVE! They usually have a blast pulling the cloth off and laughing. You can put the cloth over your own head, too. Taking the game one step further, you can partially hide behind a chair or around a corner where you will be easily discovered. To incorporate Dad (or others).. take the baby and say "Where's Daddy?" and he can peek out, or you can "sneak" to find him. Then as baby relaxes and enjoys the game (knows what's coming), DAD can take baby and find you. Then later, when you have to go, have Dad play this game with baby "one on one".
You can also incorporate hiding and finding toys.
You can use "practice separations", for example, you tell your baby that you will be going to another room and that you’ll be right back (even though the baby will not understand the words yet). (i.e. mommy's got to potty, be right back) Then have dad stand outside the bathroom door and do the "where's mommy?" you can also call her..."Moooommmmmyyyy?"[soft and gentle question] and then "where's mommy?" I hear mommy.. and YOU talk to baby thru bathroom door.
Once you open the door, you can say something like “Hello!” or "There she is!". (note: “Bye-bye” is one of the first words most babies learn. It can be good to teach them "hello" too <g>)
Introduce new people and places gradually. If you're planning (in future) to leave your child with a relative or a new babysitter, then invite that person over in advance so baby can get to know that person and feel comfortable. It's also good to have a week of "dry run" (two if you can), where you start out with 1/3 day (a couple hrs) then 1/2 day, then when it's time, the "full day". This gives baby and you time to adjust and also to work out any kinks that may arise.
If Dad is going to be caregiver from time to time, have him take over some of the care of the baby beforehand. Bathing, reading a story while you hold baby on your lap (you want to make it a gentle, gradual transition if possible), going for walks in stroller (go to mall, give dad the stroller with baby and practice walks and brief "separation" from you (i.e. go behind clothes and play "peek a boo" a few times). Have dad put baby in high chair and offer snacks, cup of water, etc. As he gets more "hands on" with baby, baby accepts that he's "okay" to offer care while you are gone :)
For brief dates out with dh, have grandma or other friend or relative come over for several days in a row, for a couple hrs, or take baby there to visit, so baby "knows" this person (not a complete stranger to baby). Do short runs first (i.e. 30 min or so at first) then graduate to longer time away. Nurse JUST before leaving, kiss baby and go. Things WILL be okay.
Also, another note: Baby's fav items, blankets or stuffed animals, can help baby feel more secure, too. Keep in mind that it's harder on baby (separations) if baby is tired, hungry, or sick. When ever possible, try to time separations when they are happy, awake/alert, and well :)
For sleep times.. just go with baby's needs for now.. work on daytime concerns first.. then tackle the nights. (maybe have toddler make up a bed on the floor next to your bed - maybe even a "tent" to sleep in near your bed - that's fun and still secure, and it gives YOU more room in your bed LOL)
HTH :)
