Christian Parenting

"How can we get past people's negative perception of the church, in order to be able to fulfill our mission in the world?"

We could capitulate to secular society and change our doctrines and core beliefs so that we'd look more appealing to the secular masses.

Or we could preach God's timeless Word as still relevant to today's society, follow in His footsteps, be His feet and hands, spread His good news, and let HIM work in society's hearts and minds.

Kathy

I think that sometimes the problem is that in the past and even in the present people individually and corporately (as churches) make mistakes, miatakes that deeply hurt people. When the people or church recognize what hurt has been done and the un-Christ like actions they allowed or participated in then there is a requirement to try to manke amends and to apologize.

On a small scale this could be my parents who came to apologize to me and my sisters when we children were grown women. They came to apologize for spanking us - not for spanking in general but because at one point they realized that spanking wasn't working for them anymore and instead of looking for other ways they continued to spank knowing in their hearts that it was wrong for them and/or us.

On a greater scale Christians have often, across the world, separated children from their parents in order to civilize them through christianity. Believing in their own superiority they claimed that in order to save a soul they had to separate families, teach lies, and deny the humanity of other races and cultures. In doing so they misrepresented the Gospel and hardened hearts. An acknowledgement of the pain caused and the wrong done can do a lot in opening the way and illuminating Christ.

Sara

This is a very sound and compassionate attitude, and one that is likely to e effective in breaking down some of the barriers of perception that keep people away from God.

I think you take the first step in combatting the problem of the Church's bad reputation, when you admit that it has a bad reputation in the first place. It's so easy for people who have grown up in the church, who have been told in Sunday School ever since they were toddlers that "We are the Good Guys, not like those heathen", to be insulted or amazed by the mere suggestion that there's anything "bad" about the Church -- even its reputation. This first step can be a very challenging one for many Christians

You take the second step, when you admit that this is the Church's problem, not the problem of the non-Christians who hold the bad perceptions. It is too easy for us to blame the people on the outside for their bad or skewed perspective. And it is usually true that often the secular stereotypes of "Church" and "Christians" are worse than the reality. But even so, it's still our problem. We're the ones with a mission that can't be achieved so long as they hold those stereotypes. Their perspective handicaps us in reaching out, destroys our ability to be effective in loving action. Shifting the blame may make us feel better, but it doesn't change the situation. We can only change the situation if we choose to accept the fact of our bad reputation, regardless of the blame.

Neither can we affect the situation, by trying to shift the blame onto other denominations. Secular people don't distinguish between one flavour and another of Christianity. From the outside, a Christian is a Christian is a Christian -- which is, of course, the understanding of many within the Church, too. We are brothers and sisters in Christ and united with all others in the Church, even those who still (in our opinions) misrepresent the Gospel. It's like belonging to a family or a nation or a club: other members really *do* hold silly opinions or act badly from time to time; and we need to remain in loving relationship anyway, while not endorsing their silly opinions or bad actions.

For the Church reaching out to secular people, that means we need to be willing to say, over and over, "yes, the Church screwed up. Yes, we were wrong about this or that, and yes this or that claim being made by another Christian is wrong or misguided." We have to be humble enough to be willing to serve, even at the same time that we are admitting our faults.

Our message to the world cannot be that "Christians and the Church have gotten things right" -- that is the root of the very Christian hypocrisy that people object to. Our message has to be "We're just as screwed up as everyone else -- but Jesus gets things right in spite of us, and He keeps asking us to try again. So... how can we serve?"

I hope you all will forgive me just jumping in here, I just found this board today and this was the first post I read and found it so good I wanted to add my 2 cents.

I personally agree with what everyone said, boiling down to the church as a whole or individually does make mistakes - it is made up of people who are imperfect hypocrites and sinners for sure, so they have and will continue to make mistakes. 

But I so totally agree with everything you said Kathy:

We could capitulate to secular society and change our doctrines and core beliefs so that we'd look more appealing to the secular masses.

That is a sure way to appeal to the world and look like a "successful" church - but is it what God demands? 

It just seems to me that so often any Christian individually or as a church is labeled extremist or intolerant if they simply choose not to conform to "the world" yet we see Muslim's (and other religions too but this one is in the news more often) as extremist only when they are terrorists.  No one expects the average peaceful Muslim to conform to society or makes fun of them for not conforming - it is generally respected as a religion and a culture in the media and society.  Many Muslims believe and live according to their faith - women cover up in varying degrees, homosexuality is generally not tolerated, pre marital or extra marital sex is considered a grave sin - at least for women especially.  They seem to not need to defend themselves as an institution for not "conforming" to society, the way Christians are asked to.  In even making the comparison some would label me as intolerant, but I am not, I just wonder at the reason for society "judging" religions so differently.  Why does society feel the need to tear down and so fiercly judge Christianity?  It is the fact that we do reach out to bring in sinners, witnessing in all its forms, some good, some bad?  I've never had a Muslim attempt to witness to me.  Personally, I believe that if we aren't embraced by the culture/society, we are probably doing what God wants us to be doing. 

It is definitely wrong to drive someone out of the church for mistakes and sins, the buildings would be empty if we didn't love and forgive each other continually. Church members should handle such situations with love, but the church can't abandon "the law" part of our Bible - it is just that we need to emphasize the love that conquors the failure to live by the law.  BUT, if one knows one is breaking God's command, and continues to do so, and the church does nothing to lovingly show that person their sin, who is the church serving?  It becomes a shell whose main purpose becomes socialization.  

In a situation where a child is on the way (as in the case of a pp), out of wedlock, should the parent(s) be driven away?  Never!  What good comes of that?  If a sin is acknowledged and there is repentance in the heart we are commanded to forgive and love and care for all sinners.  I think the repentance part is the tricky part.  In just one example - many churches are full of people who live together outside of marriage.  Most churches seem to a adopt a "don't ask don't tell" policy and just hope the two eventually marry.  This may be offensive to many who are Christians and have lived with someone, but how do you uphold what the members of the church, including those living together, profess to believe if it isn't addressed some how?  I think it is interesting that the church is considered the hypocrite if they address the sin, and not the person who week after week hears the Word and worships a God who clearly names it a sin and asks for repentance.

I hope I haven't totally offended anyone by my opinions, especially with my first post here :)