Donor Insemination & Donor Egg/Embryo

Hello - I am a frequent flyer on the TTC over 40 and just found out that I have little chance at all for getting pg, and DH and I are moving on to DE.  Our goal is to save for 10 mos and then do the procedure next summer.

I have read some of your posts over the last few mos as I kinda felt I'd end up here.  My cycles have been so wacky and our TTC attempts over 16 mos have been futile. 

I am lucky in that I have a friend (32) who has offered her oocytes.  The thing is, she offered not really knowing what it entails.  They live in another state and we will be visiting them next month.  I have already told our RE that we will need to coordinate with someone out of town.  He thinks it is doable.

So, I am nervous as heck about sitting down and explaining what she has to go through. I hope she will still be on board.  I am madly in love with her daughters and she is a wonderful person.  I very so lucky she offered, but again, scared to tell her what she'll have to go through.

Anything you ladies can share with me?  I really only know that she'd have to align her cycle with mine, take shots, then fly down here for the procedure. 

Welcome! I'm new to this myself. My DH and I are waiting for our RE to match us with a donor and we're moving ahead as soon as we agree. We're hoping that will be soon. It is awesome that your friend offered to donate her eggs to you. It is a lot to go through and perhaps you should tell her what you know and give her the opportunity to think it through thoroughly and get back to you? Of course you will have to be willing to accept it if she decides not to do it. I think it's fair to have her fully informed though.

Good luck with it and post if you have questions or concerns. This is a small board but everyone is very helpful and nice.

Carolyn

Hi and welcome! That's wonderful that your friend is considering donating to you. You have the basics, but she will also have to go through an initial thorough medical screening, including bloodwork and a vaginal ultrasound and psychological evaluation. These things are pretty standard. While she is doing injections she will also be going to her clinic 2-3 times per week for ultrasounds and bloodwork to check the progress of the follicles and her hormone levels, so it's a pretty big time commitment too. I would try to find out as much as you can about the process and maybe even print out the info and bring it for her to read. parentsviaeggdonation.org is a good place to start, and there are also several books out there that will help you both sort through all the emotional, legal and medical issues that are involved. My favorite is "Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation" by Glazer/Sterling. Maybe you could also call your Dr. and have them explain more about how the process would work- what kind of drug protocol they will use, what the side effects could be, for both of you.

I agree that she should be completely informed of what's involved as well as all the issues that may come up now or down the road.

Good luck!

Hello and welcome.  I think it is such a wonderful thing that your friend would even consider offering her eggs. What a wonderful gift. 

Aside from aligning your cycles and doing the procedure, your friend and her husband will likely need to have infectious disease screening including HIV.  They may also be asked to meet with a psychologist once or twice to discuss the implications of donating and donating to a friend.  Some clinics require the donor to take written psychological tests as well.

I hope that all goes smoothly and you are able to arrange the whole thing.  Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress.

I second what everyone else said, but also wanted to suggest that you get a mock schedule from your clinic that might help to explain all the needed testing.

I actually had started the same conversations with 2 cousins of mine. It was so hard at first, but I sent them lots of information to read up on prior to speaking.  It helped them to fully understand what would be needed.      I actually had also agreed with my doc that I would change to a clinic by either of them  if it was to work out to make the travel only on my shoulders.  Just a thought.

Gl!