Hi Theresa,
Thanks for coming by, and you have a gorgeous family, let me just say! :)
It sounds like your friend really has her hands full with all those little ones! And Boys!!! But if I can be honest, my first thought was, "That lucky little baby!" because the new one will thrive and do so well with all those older siblings to show him how things go and constantly motivate him forward. I know that's not the point of your post, but I just had to throw it in. She may not be ready to hear that kind of thing yet, but it will be such a huge blessing to the youngest, and the older brothers will LOVE this new baby!
As for support, there are lots of resources, but the seem to vary a bit on where she is. There are local support groups of families who have a little one (or big one!) with DS, and if you feel comfortable sharing (by private email if you prefer--braskasmom at gmail.com) where she lives or even an area of a state, I'd be happy to find what group(s) are there and get some current contact info for them if you'd like. Otherwise, many groups are listed at this link http://www.ds-health.com/ds_sites.htm#usa though it's not 100% current, I found. Local support groups are GREAT tools and a wonderful direct way to meet and learn from others who have walked this path before her. Each group is different, but they are a great resouce, even if she is not ready to "get involved" at this stage. And that is totally ok!! My local group has a blog if that's interesting to get a peek at... http://DownSyndromeStC.blogspot.com.
Also, for me personally, the biggest helps were blogs online of other families who share how their lives looked (very "normal!") each day. There are pictures and stories and just regular things shared. It helped me to see that it wasn't some alien thing that we would be alone doing... I've met many of my online buddies and they are like family to me, honestly. Braska's blog (my daughter with DS) address is below by my siggy, and there are hundreds of blogs out there. Many are listed in the right margin of Braska's. I have contacts in something like 38 states, so if you'd like me to connect you with families close to where you are, I can do that as well. (Not sharing her info, just pointing you to blogs that show families nearby.)
Of course, forums like this one are also very helpful. There are many available and they are great resources as well, because a new parent can peruse them and see all the many questions others have asked, and this often helps to answer some of their own questions in a nonthreatening environment. I'm happy to provide those other links also, if you'd like. Of course THIS one is a great place to start!! :)
Please let your friend know that though she is understandably overwhelmed, the most important thing right now is just to love that new little boy just like she did his older brothers. He is a baby and needs baby things...lots of cuddles, smiles, sleep, and interaction. Chromosomes don't matter there!
Lastly, if she wants to read, or if you want to read and convey info to her, some really helpful books are Gifts and Gifts 2 (stories written by moms like us, just sharing about their birth stories and/or how their kids have enriched their lives--though it often took adjustment), Babies with Down Syndrome is a more detailed book, fact-filled, and I found it very helpful, but the first chapter can be overwhelming with all the medical info. (I encourage new moms to skip it in the beginning and just read about what their kids can do!!) There are many other books as well, but those are a good starting point, in my opinion.
You are a great friend to help her out and be there for her. And at this point, that's SO what she needs! So as a mom who's been there, thank you!
Let us know if there are any other questions we can answer, and I hope we get to meet your friend in here one day! Many blessings to you and to her family!
Edited 10/28/2009 10:34 am ET by braskasmom
