Hi. I'm a homeschooling mom to a highly gifted 3 year old. I'm looking for some information, so I'm hoping someone here can help me out with (1) friends and (2) the future.
I'm trying to find a group (preferably homeschooling) in the Austin, TX area to make playdates. I joined a yahoo group, but there are only 2 members, and I'm still waiting for approval. There is a gifted academy here, but he missed the age cut-off by 3 months, and besides, it's $10k/yr. Ouch. He really needs to find friends like him. He prefers older kids, but they don't like him. He doesn't like children his own age because they don't "get" him.
I'm wondering what the future holds. Does anyone here have a child who has or will graduate very early? For example, I graduated college with a boy who was only 12 years old. His mom had to escort him to all of his classes. It was really weird. I don't want my kids to be weird, but that's the direction my son is headed. As I said, he's only 3 years old, but he's on a 3rd grade reading level, 1st grade math level, and is studying astronomy this year for science. Most of what he knows has been self-taught. We only started formally teaching him 3 weeks ago. The only problem he has with school is his age-appropriate motor skills. He can't write worth anything. His motor skills are actually a tiny bit behind due to birth injuries, anyway. That doesn't help matters. If you have a child who has or will graduate ahead of schedule, can you give me some pros/cons? What do I need to consider? Please don't tell me to "let him play and explore on his own". I get so sick of hearing that phrase. That's not the type of child he is. He's a sponge, really.
Well, at that age my kids were nowhere near the level your DS is, but here's a trick that sometimes worked for me.
What you do is find an older child, maybe about 4th to 6th grade level-- preferably gifted/bright/advanced-- and hire him or her as a babysitter. (If you're not comfortable leaving your child alone with a 10-12 year-old, you could hire that sitter to play with your child while you do chores in another part of your home or something.) IME sitters this age take babysitting very seriously and will play with your child pretty much the entire time they are together.
No need to tell anyone that the sitter and the sittee might be at the same level academically...
Hi! I've never been in your situation, but I wanted to welcome you to the board. I'm sure some of the others will jump in with some ideas for you. I hope you will stick around and post with us.
I can definitely relate on the difficulty of finding playmates. Although my kids are not quite as advanced as yours, we have struggled through the early years with playmates seeming mismatched with my kids. DS, now 8, is stuggling with this now as his best friend from the first 3 yrs of school has changed schools. He was on the same level as my DS and they did most things together. I don't really have any answers on this, just that I understand the frustration.
I don't think you'll find too many people here who will say "let him play and explore on his own". Gifted kids often just play differently. Both of my kids have loved numbers. DS used to use a play cash register, but not for playing store - no, he like to use the calculater part of it for adding. At 4, DD started pulling out the addition flashcards completely on her own and now at the beginning of kindergarten, she can do most of them. Yes - we own flashcards since DS needed to improve his timing at school on math problems and it seemed the best way to practice. I don't usually tell anyone we own them since others will think I spend hours every day quizzing the kids.
I hope you stick around here. We all have similar issues to deal with. I've only recently joined the group and already received some good ideas.
The one thing I've really learned about gifted kids is you can't do a lot of long range predicting with them. They can develop and change irratically. You look at them at one age and think "Wow, she's 4 years advanced now, she'll be 4 years advanced later." However, things change. They might lose interest in the subject and only be 2 years advanced at an older age. They may hyper-focus on that subject and end up 6 years advanced. They aren't so linear. They can hop around, take breaks, take non-academic interests, ect.
My own kids won't be going to college remarkably early. My 12-year-old could handle many college level courses now particularly in the humanities and science. She is not only academically advanced but also extremely organized, independant, and driven. However, her lack of interest in math has her plunking along at highschool levels and having no desire to accelerate past that. She moved away from academic pursuits around 10 and focused in on the performing arts. We have filled her need for complexity and adult interaction by allowing her to do professional theatre. There she can work with adults and be treated as such. At school, she has many accomodations in place... grade and subject accelerations as well as differentiation and independant study. She's happy and we're not expect her to go to college until 15 at the earliest and even that might not happen if she decides to go to a performing arts highschool and falls in love with it next year. DS, well, he's brilliant, top percentile on IQ test, but at 8, there is NO WAY he'd have the maturity and organization to take 1 college course let alone a whole semester's worth. On top of that, he's intensely social and can't handle feeling iscolated. At this point, I'm no so sure he'll be ready at 17 when he would naturally go lol. He's in a special program that catars to his strengths and he's happy.
We do know several kids who started college at 14 and 15 and have been successful. They all started in community college as to stay home longer. We know 1 girl who started at 12 but she's a terrible example. She's certainly smart but her mother homeschooled and took short-cuts so she could graduate highschool early (the girl wants to be an actress and hopes to edge out the competition by being able to work adult hours and still be a minor.) Basically, she's started college with minimum highschool levels and a major superiority complex.... not a good combo!
Socially, my advice is to pick your child's friends based on adults YOU connect with at this point. You'll have better luck with like minded parents who parent in a similar fashion than hunting don't a similar child. Be careful in your hunt. Even amoungst homeschoolers, there is a taboo on 3-year-olds being formally educated.
