Gifted Child

Hi. I'm Tina and new here. I have a DS age 21 months and DD who is 8 months. I'm not sure if this is really the right board for me to post this on, but I hope you all can help.

DS has always been average with his gross motor development, but has been extremely accelerated with his verbal skills from early on. At 21 months he is now speaking in 4-6 word sentences using nouns, verbs, etc.. all in their appropriate ways. His enunciation does require some translation for those who don't normally spend time around him. He hears something once and seems to remember it forever and he's begun to appropriately identify emotions. His understanding of emotions is so unusual and he seems to take on the emotions of those around him or even the emotions of characters in books or on TV.

He's such a sponge right now and seems to get obsessed with with specific things. For a while it was shapes, then it moved to numbers, letters and the phonics that go with each letter. Now he's completely focused on trucks/tractors and is adamant about needing to know the specific name/type it is and he's starting to get this way about dinosaurs. He stays fixated on something until he seems to master it and will show almost no interest in anything else until masters whatever he's fixated on first.

I do my best at home to try to quench his desire to learn, but with 2 kids under 2 my time is quite divided. He's become more sensitive both emotionally and physically. All of a sudden he wants his hands cleaned frequently and tags are bothering him. Emotionally he just seems to get frustrated more easily and wants to carry his blankie around all the time.

I enrolled him in an early preschool program part time and I'm pretty disappointed. It's much more like a day care than what I expected. DS plays with the other kids his age, but just seems really bored. They are basically doing things that he was doing 6-8 months ago. I have him on a waiting list for a Montessori program which I think (hope) will be a much better fit.

I don't know if he is truly gifted, but I do know that he is advanced for his age and struggles with connecting with the kids his age. He is drawn to the older kids, but they won't consider moving him up to the older class. This is why I think the Montesorri program will be a better fit.

I'm just at a loss on how to engage him more at home and what to do about the preschool situation. He just seems so much more frustrated since starting school, but I really need the time to finish my dissertation research. He's always been such a sweet kid and I just hate to see him feeling so agitated.

Any thoughts or guidance would be much appreciated!

Tina

Hi and welcome.  You've come to the right place for advice-- we will probably give you more than you really wanted!

About the preschool-- you do know that 21 months is very, very VERY young for preschool, don't you?  Traditionally preschool is the two years before kindergarten, which is usually older 3s in three-year-old preschool and older 4s and even young 5s in 4-year-old preschool. 

The reason is, as a rule toddlers do not do well in structured situations.  Not saying your child isn't the exception, but you do have to consider what the other kids in class are capable of.  I've taught preschool Sunday school for years and even most two-year-olds do not get much out of a group situation.  Only the very oldest twos (mostly girls) have the attention spans and language comprehension for even the shortest independent story time. 

If your child is very verbal (like my oldest was), even three-year-old preschool will be more about hanging out with the teachers than making new friends.  At three most kids are just starting to play WITH each other rathen than ALONGSIDE each other, and while they can talk pretty well, the give-and-take of lengthy conversation is still difficult.

However, at age four most kids are better at cooperative play and using their imaginations, and I'll bet preschool will be a much better fit.  HTH.

Barbara

I was in the same situation not long ago.  My son had delayed motor skills because of some orthopedic issues he was born with, but his mind ... right from the start... was always running way ahead of schedule.  He started speaking at 3 months and was reading by 22 mos.  We also tried an advanced preschool, but it was a joke.  We pulled him out, and it's been the best thing for him.  He's almost 4 now, and he's in 1st grade (3rd grade reading).  We don't push... we follow.  He reminds me so much of my little brother at this age.  I had the advantage of being much older than him, so I was able to see what it was like for him growing up and see how he's turned out.  Just keep encouraging.  Go with the flow.  If montessori works, great.  If not, don't beat yourself up.  Gifted children think differently - academically, emotionally, spiritually - and they all have a unique set of skills that are advanced, normal, or delayed.  Some children are able to establish relationships long before the norm.  Some thrive on socialization.  Others prefer to be alone, and even when they're "supposed" to be playing with other children, they prefer not to.  It's completely normal for a gifted child to befriend children who are intellectually their equals rather than chronologically their equals.

Hang in there, mom!

Thanks for the feedback about schooling at this age. I think I'm just frustrated that they don't seem to be doing anything educational. I realize children this age learn through play, but the play does not seem structured in any way. I think DS is just used to doing activities at home that require a little more thought (mega blocks, puzzles, coloring, etc...) and the program just seems to have "baby" toys for this age. I think the socialization part is important for him, but he just seems so bored with the activities they have for him to do. DS is definitely still in the parallel play stage. I think he just likes being around the older children because they are doing activities that he enjoys doing. I feel bad for the kiddo. He's not socially mature enough to really fit in with the older kids, but yet he's so verbal that he gets frustrated with the kids his age.

Ugh!

Thanks again for the thoughts.
Tina

Thanks for your supportive words of encouragement. I really do hope that Montessori is a better fit. I like that the children can move at their own pace and dive into what really interests them. I also like that they are able to interact with the older children and learn from them. I know the current program does a good job of caring. They are quite nurturing. Poor guy is just so bored being stuck in a group where he is really the only one actively talking and the activities are still "baby" focused. If it were not for the fact that I need the extra time to finish my dissertation I would pull him out now and wait for the spot at Montessori. I really do want DS to have the socialization opportunities.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

Tina