Gifted Child

My DD who turned three in May had her second day of preschool yesterday (she only goes twice a week for a few hours in the morning) and there have already been issues.    In general, she is spirited, creative, non-conformist, and wants to be in charge which will be great at 20, but isn't exactly appreciated by preschool teachers.  She is way ahead in "academic" areas and they will be learning things she learned as a baby, and she behaves better when her mind or creativty is put to work and I am not sure that will happen.  They are mostly asking her to work on self restraint and following the rules which are her weaknesses so I don't want her first association of school to be negative.  I'm just wondering if anyone else is going through this or went through this and what they did...

She was very unhappy when I picked her up yesterday and they told me she cried and had some issues with how she was talking to teachers and other children. I know many kids cry, but she was acting angry.  Last night I ordered some books that teach behavior like sharing, using nice words etc. because no matter how many times I show her by doing it and tell her how to do it and reward good behavior, she still didn't act polite at times and lapses into being bossy or demanding or pushy even towards teachers.  She is very verbal and memorizes books so maybe if there were catchy rhymes or something it might help her to behave, but the truth is she knows what she is suppose to do and doesn't seem to care and even enjoys defying the rules.


 

My DD who turned three in May had her second day of preschool yesterday

 

 

It's my experience that very verbal and imaginative kids do not do as well as you might think in three-year-old preschool.  At three the other kids are just beginning to play WITH each other (as opposed to ALONGSIDE each other), and the give-and-take of of conversation isstill pretty difficult.  Most three-year-olds can carry on a short conversation of 3-4 exhanges, but that's about it.  They can't really play elaborate imaginary games with each other.

Often the very verbal/imaginative 3s prefer to hang out with the teachers rather than fellow students-- and when they do play with other students, they tend to try to direct the play.  Certainly understandable, since they are probably the only ones capable of thinking up the play scenarios, but it does come across as bossy and selfish.

Not sure I have any real advice, except to tell you as the other kids become more verbal, the problem lessens quite a bit.   At four the other preschool girls enjoy imaginative play but can't quite figure out a full scenario by themselves, so they actually LIKE having a friend tell them what to do!

When my dd was 3 (she is now 6 in Grade1) I looked around for some preschools - more to give me a break and socialize her. She was already far ahead of where she needed to be at 3 and I was not interested in a program that would teach her abcs when she was starting to read and doing addition and subtraction.

I decided to follow her other interests. Ballet, a sports class  (great for winter to get her energy out), library programs, art class. That kind of stuff. She was engaged and not really bored at these. We did her academic interests at home, in a kind of homeschooling style. A lot of the activities I tried through the community centre, and were very affordable. A great way to try and see before you spend a lot of money on something they may not love.

My dd never seemed all that at home with the other 2 and 3 year olds, always like older kids. But this was a good solution for that age. Now she is attending a gifted program and she really likes the kids.

Any other help, please ask. I really understand where you are coming from.

Ann

Is she doing any better this week?

I do not have a lot of suggestions as DD is only 18 months old, does not look like she is quite on the same trajectory as your DD, and has been in daycare since 11 weeks old.

A couple of considerations include:

Acclimation time - you may want to give your DD a little more time to get used to the school. I have noticed that little ones not used to school can take 1-2 weeks to acclimate to the school including getting used to the routine and rules in general.

School itself - If your lo still doesn't like school, you may wish to look for another school..Some of the characteristics that I like about our school is that the kids are fairly "bright" (their parents tend to be executives and professionals), the center is small - allows for a lot of attention and flexibility and the teachers foster DD's independence (they actually seem to like her strong personality - they describe her as a 4 year old trapped in an 18 month old body lol)

Good luck and let us know how it goes