Gifted Child

Hello,

I have a question about reading material.  My son started a school which will supposedly teach "to his level" (he's in Reception, which is roughly equivalent to Junior Kindergarten).  Most of the books so far have been lower level books which is a whole other story.  On Friday he came home with a book called Environmental Disasters in the Oxford Reading Tree series. 

What I'm looking for is input.  I started reading the book and think it might be a little harsh for an almost 5 year old.  It covers topics such as oil spills, Bhopal and Chernobyl.  I personally feel that this is a little rough for a young child to process.  But it is also possible that I'm too overprotective. 

Any input would be appreciated - thanks.

-Christine

As a mom whose then-4yo read the newspaper and asked "mommy, what is genocide?" I understand your concern. I think, though, that the answer to what is appropriate to expose our kids to depends totally on the family and the child. My kids do not seem to be particularly sensitive to stories of tragedy, of harm, of suspense or evil. However, as a parent I feel strongly that a child's overall impression of the world should be that it is basically filled with goodness, even if there are exceptions to that goodness. Since the stories that are shared (through novels, the news, non-fiction books and conversation) so often revolve around hardship, tragedy and evil, it's easy I think for kids to unwittingly grow up feeling that most of the world is like that. I have therefore nudged the balance a little away from those things.

In other words, I don't find my kids to be adversely affected by isolated exposures to harsh topics, but I want to keep them from thinking that the world is basically harsh in nature. Because they believe that the world is basically a good place, they are able to view episodes like Bhopal and Chernobyl as exceptions, not threats.

For us balancing our kids' world view meant not having TV or print news available to the kids when they were young. It meant preferentially exposing them to gentle stories, movies, books and such. It meant making an effort not to raise them in a culture of fear (minimizing over-protectiveness, avoiding the use of scare tactics in teaching safety, etc.).

Who chose the book? Your ds or one of his teachers? Is he sensitive to harsh topics, or does he emotionally distance himself? Is his life experience to date favouring a world view of hardship and tragedy, or has he led a carefree untroubled childhood? Does he talk about things that worry him, or does he tend to keep them inside and become anxious?

The answers to all of these questions would probably play into how I'd react to the book you describe.

Miranda

The teacher chose the book.  I'd say he's had a pretty carefree and untroubled childhood (despite our city living).  I don't watch TV or get the newspapers (I view news online when he is not near, although he has sometimes come up behind me and read some of the headlines aloud, or read the headlines on the news flashes as we are passing by on the bus), he respects that there are some things that are for adults and some things for children, etc.  We've had discussions about things like homelessness, or what happens if you don't pay your bills, but that is about as far as it goes for "rough information".  We have not had any real discussions about "harsh" topics so I'm not really sure how he reacts.  When we talked about the "don't pay your bills" scenario, he seemed to fall mostly in the worry category (do we have enough money to pay our bills?  will we run out?).  But for other things, he just tends to talk and talk about it, it seems in an effort to understand it.  I wish I was a more perceptive parent.

I don't really mind things like the fairy tales which can be rather grim, but think that these type of topics (the ones in this book) are best covered when a child has more experience with the world around him (or her, of course).  On the back of the book it has other topics of the same "stage" level which include 'Diamonds', 'Using a Computer', 'Robots', etc.   I'm thinking these topics would be much more appropriate for a 4 (almost 5) year old.

I do not restrict his use of things like his children's encyclopedia, which includes subjects such as war, etc.  That is in a book which has lots of things, good and bad.  But to have an entire book dedicated to the bad things that happen, not deliberately but because of an "accident", seems a little rough for a child this age (to me).  But again, I acknowledge that I am probably overprotective (though I would not say fear-based, more of a keeping the bad stuff out of his experience range), so that is why I am seeking input from the others here.

I appreciate your response and would love to hear any additional feedback you are willing to share.

-Christine

Weird.  I replied earlier, but my response isn't here.

I don't remember exactly what I said, but for the most part, we don't shy away from harsh material.  It may require more explaining or guidance, but as long as it's not offensive, it's usually ok.

My son is in a similar situation, except that we're homeschooling, so we've got more control over what he reads.  He's 3, but he's on a 3rd grade reading level, so it's VERY hard to find things on his reading level that are also interesting to a 3 year old.  Typical 3rd graders (especially girls) are quickly approaching puberty, so the topics of interest for many books revolve around relationships and school functions/situations.  He doesn't care about that, and we're not doing public school, so the situations are ones he'd never encounter anyway. 

A lot of people have recommended this book to me.  I can't WAIT to get a copy (it's on my xmas wish list).  It's called "Some of My Best Friends Are Books", and it's for parents with gifted/accelerated readers.  It lists books for PreK thru 12th that are level/age appropriate.  You can find reviews on amazon.com.

If the teacher chose the book I'd be inclined to have a word with the teacher. As I say, I like the adults in my kids' lives to mitigate against the impression that the world is full of badness, not play into it. If it's a teacher-suggested book, I also think some kids would be inclined to read past their emotional comfort zones in order to live up to what they believe are the teacher's expectations.

I think that if the teacher chose that book, when there are clearly other more age-appropriate topics in the series, I'd question the teacher's judgment a little. Maybe the teacher was just having an off-day and didn't think things through, but I think I'd want to diplomatically suggest that gentler topics would make me happier in future.

Miranda