Hello to all you wonderful people out there with "spirited" children. I am new to ivillage and this forum, this is my first post. I have one boy who is 12 months and 1 girl who is 5 years old. They are both very "active" as the Dr.'s say. I have recently come to terms with the fact that they are both "high needs" and it's quite scary to be honest. My daughter has always been very hyper, active, smart, and the list goes on. We were hoping our Son would be mellow and calm but no such luck. My biggest dilemma I am having at the moment is that he is still not sleeping through the night and I have no idea where to go from here. He has never slept through the night and has always had to be either at the breast or rocked to sleep. I have just finished breastfeeding and he is exclusively on formula and food of course (both people food & jarred baby food that is bought). He wakes up 2-5 times a night (2 on a good night) and can be awake for anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours at a time. I average about 3 hours a night and it is misery. He is cutting his top two teeth so I know that has something to do with the present but I don't know why all the fuss from birth and continuing until now aside from the fact I think he is just "high need". His newest thing he is doing is waking up (not hungry, won't even take a bottle) and he just wants me, calling "Ma ma" from his crib. I go in, try to lay him back down saying "it's time for nigh night" and he starts to scream. I walk out, wait about 5 mins, go back and try again and it never works, so I pick him up. I don't turn on any lights or change him, etc. He will not lay down for me while I rock him and snuggle with him blanky (his comfort thing) and he gets mad and throws his binky (soother), I have no idea why other than maybe because his teeth hurt. Any ideas? I am at my wit's end as I am the person who used to need 8-10 hours of good sleep a night :( His sister starting sleeping through the night around 4 months so this is all new to me. Aside from this sleeping thing, he is a very happy and well-behaved baby. Needy yes, but really good, not fussy, doesn't cry much when hurt, etc. just basically when he is put down awake or lately when trying to get him back down. Any suggestions, advice or help in any way would be very appreciated. Thanks so much in advance. I hope to stick around this board and make some new friends :)
Hi, Jennifer! Welcome to the board! High needs kids do take a lot of extra attention, but they are soooo worth it! I'm sure you are exhausted and I know first hand how hard that is. Take heart - try to remember that he won't be this small forever and it will get easier.
Try to make sure there are no medical reasons why he's waking up at night - you might try giving him some pain relief before bed for the teething (check with your doctor first, of course), and ask the pediatrician if there are any other reasons he would wake up at night: stuffy nose, reflux, dog barking, does the neighbor's alarm go off in the middle of the night? etc etc. You might try a cool mist vaporizer and a fan or something safe to make white noise.
Also, try to figure out what it is that he's asking for in the middle of the night and give him more of it during the day.... does he need MORE attention from you (that's probably hard to deliver, LOL, as I'm sure you already give him a ton), or an extra snack at bedtime, etc etc. Maybe he just needs to be closer to you - you could try putting his crib in your room for a bit and see if that helps him sleep more.
Our little guy had a lot of sleep issues, and it took 15 months to get him to sleep well through the night. I know you are exhausted, but keep working at it. He won't be this small forever and you will get sleep eventually. Hang in there! ! Let us know how things go!
Amanda
CL of Budgeting, Debt Q&A, High Needs Infants and Toddlers
I can't imagine only getting a few hours of sleep for that long! Our little one went through a phase for about 2 months where she kept waking and she wasn't sick or teething. The whole patting on the back and leaving the room didn't work for us either. I would be up all night if I tried to keep up with that routine. We picked up our daughter too and rocked her and so many times the second she hit the matress she would start again. Any how, after reading up on it, it seems that in our case it was separation anxiety. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, the more he knows he can count on you to be there the more re-assured he will become that you are not far away and the phase will pass eventually.
Of course, all babies are different so I would read about separation anxiety and see if that fits the description of what your baby is going through. It's always nice to know too that the pediatricions office is just a phone call away if they have any suggestions for you.
Our daughter also has experienced night terrors but that is when your child is totally unresponsive to you and doesn't even recognize you because their brain is half awake and half asleep. It doesn't sound like yours is going through that. That's a scary experience the first time! Once you know what a night terror is you are better prepared for it.
Good Luck! I hope you get some sleep soon. Hang in there!
How is your little one doing? Has his sleep improved at all? Sleep deprivation is so tough- especially when you have other high-needs children in the home. You've received a lot of good advice here. I'd also recommend a white noise machine- it is one thing I've found works great for my youngest. We have a noisy home with 2 active older boys so I think the constant noise helps him sleep.
I was wondering if you'd visited the Sleep Training board here on iVillage yet? If not, you may want to stop by and see if any board members have any ideas for you. iVillage also has a Sleep Method Decoder that might give you some more ideas.
Good luck to you- sending your son tons of sleepy vibes. ;)
