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discussion title:
 

Exhausted after 12 months

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  5498.1
replies:
  6
from:
  mom_jane_77
date:
  Jun-24 2:54 pm

I am a mother to a beautiful, feisty 12 month old little girl who is my world but she is wearing me down. As a newborn she cried and fussed all day long, and we discovered it to be an intolerance to the protein in cow's milk, or so we thought. From that point on everything we tried wasn't working to soothe her. She wanted to be picked up only to scream to be put back down...up down, up down, up down all day long. She hated tummy time with a passion and as she got older when she learned to sit up she still seemed so frustrated all of the time. I thought surely when she learns to crawl some of this frustration would end but then we found ourselves saying when she learns to walk she'll be happier and the story goes. She is walking and has met all of her milestones usually before the average age and seems extremely observant and aware of her surroundings...very smart. However, if I am not playing with her every moment she is whining and clinging to me. I don't even have a chance do to the dishes or have a cup of coffee in the morning. From day 1 she has had a bit of a temper and to this day is still exhibiting a strong temperament. At the beginning I was told by the in-laws that I wasn't burping her enough as to why she was crying and I calmly said, be my guest, you try taking her bottle away and burp her! Needless to say she screamed so loudly and threw herself around so badly that they finally could see what I was talking about. She has just finally started accepting the car seat but that was insane for a very long time. Diaper changing time has always been complete and udder madness...poop is often found on the wall or me! Lets just say she is quick to let you know in a very dramatic way that she is not happy with the situation. Even our doctor has a hard time examining her and says she extremely strong and feisty for her age! I've tried the cry it out method but am too tired and stressed to listen to the the blood curdling cries and then know that I'm going to have to go in and clean up her throw up! The doc says to let her throw up she'll eventually learn to get over it...easier said than done! Any how, enough rambling, I just would really like to know that there are other parents going through this with their little ones. All of our friends seems to have extremely mellow babies and in no way can relate to us. In fact I often feel them being very judgemental...you coddle her too much and on and on. It's easy for a parent who has a easy baby to judge us as being over dramatic parents, or at least that's how it feels.
We are crazy in love with our baby girl we would just like to know that it gets easier. We would like to have more kids and I am at the age where we should probably start trying sooner than later but I can't imagine being prego and watching after this one. I feel like I've tried every activity and theory in the books but we are very open to hearing any advice out there! Thanks for listening, sometimes it just feels good to get it all out!!!
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discussion title:
 

Exhausted after 12 months

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  5498.2 in response to 5498.1
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from:
  cl-amandajojo  Member Icon
to:
  mom_jane_77
date:
  Jun-25 10:20 pm

HI, Mom Jane 77! Thanks for sharing your story with us!

Your LO certainly does sound like a high needs baby. They are very intense and need lots of care. It bothers me that her pediatrician said just let her throw up, I don't know that its good for a child to get that upset, kwim? You may want to have her checked out by an alternate doctor just to be thorough.

Please feel free to post, vent, share, whatever !

Amanda

CL of Budgeting, Debt Q&A, High Needs Infants and Toddlers

Do you need some budgeting support?

Have questions about debt, bankruptcy or foreclosure?

Do you have a High Needs Infant or Child?

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Jun-30


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discussion title:
 

Exhausted after 12 months

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  5498.3 in response to 5498.1
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from:
  lll08
to:
  mom_jane_77
date:
  Jun-30 2:15 pm

Hi,

Honestly, I'm not sure it gets easier for a long time...the challenges are different at every age.  My high needs daughter now almost 2, has different stages that are easier.  Right now she;s going through a very tough stage, testing me, wanting more control, having a mind of her own.  But know there are others out there who are going through or have gone through similar experiences, feelings and challenges, including the criticism.

Enjoy every day as much as possible.  They grow up quick.   
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Exhausted after 12 months

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  5498.4 in response to 5498.1
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from:
  rishy24
to:
  mom_jane_77
date:
  Jul-1 8:57 am

My 11 mo old son is EXACTLY the same way. He has always been an extremely fussy and challenging child. After 8 long weeks of 24 hours of screaming off and on, we found out that he had GER. He was put on Pepsid, which seemed to work well enough...but he was still fussy. I've tried all the advice, have read every book and joined every support group out there. Nothing seems to work for our little man. His cries have always been very loud and urgent, so I would naturally respond in an urgent manner. I, too, have been told that I coddle him too much and that I should let him cry. My inlaws don't understand that letting him cry is a vicious cycle of gas, spit and sleeplessness. His spitting seemed to lessen once he was able to sit up...I was so excited as I thought he would start to be much happier. I was wrong. Same with crawling. He is now on the verge of walking. He takes steps here and there and has been furniture cruising and walking with his toys for almost 2 months now. I hope that this new milestone will show him that he can be a little more independent. My husband is in the Army and is currently in Iraq. He came home for his 2 weeks of leave a couple weeks ago. The little guy took to him right away and was very happy he had a new playmate! He was pretty content and happy the whole entire time my husband was home...UNTIL he got used to him. Then he showed his wild side. He also decided to wean himself from the breast while his daddy was home. He just stopped cold turkey and has been refusing it ever since. I just follow his lead and do what I can to help him adjust and be more comfortable. He is so exhausting...I find myself looking forward to naps and bedtime. He isn't really that good of a sleeper, but at least it's a mental break from all of the crying. The worst part is that I studied Sociology and Psychology in college and prior to being a SAHM worked as a Parent Education Specialist. It was my job to educate parents on how to use healthy discipline and deal with tantrums and I can't even handle my own child! Granted I worked with school aged children, BUT it's disheartening to know that I can't figure out my own child. I just want him to be happy and it seems like he is always crying, screaming or whining. I really need a break! Can't wait until his daddy is home for good!
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discussion title:
 

Exhausted after 12 months

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message #:
  5498.5 in response to 5498.4
replies:
  6
from:
  mom_jane_77
to:
  rishy24
date:
  Jul-1 10:41 am

Wow, I can't imagine my husband being gone and raising my little one all by myself as she is so demanding. You are remarkable. My husband does work long hours some days but at least I get a break every now and then. Hopefully you have a good support system...family or friends near by! I think what makes having a spirited child so much more difficult is being away from family and friends. That is the case with us. I am 11 hours away from my Mom, family and friends and 3 hours away from my husbands family. We pretty much got pregnant when we moved and now have a 1 year old so we haven't really had a chance to meet any really close friends.

I am starting to see my little girl growing a little more independent as she is cruising all over the place. She still throws a fit every single time I put her down. She wants to be held all the time. Someday I'll look back when she is a teenager and she wants nothing to do with me and miss these days of clinginess but it's definitely exhausting right now.

I have found that she loves her little baby pool and going to the park. Actually I make sure to get out of the house at least twice a day with her because otherwise we have along fussy day. She is easily bored. I'm sure you have gotten your little one out and about too but it really is our saving grace. If you haven't already checked out local playgroups thats a good way to meet other parents and playmates. Try Meetup.com, it seems to be a well organized site that enables you to join playgroups in your area. There is a playdate almost every day of the week and you can pick and choose which activities best fit you and your little guy.

My little one is an angel with her daddy too. She entertains herself forever when he watches her. Of course that makes me so frustrated. The second I come into the picture she starts whining and fussing and clinging to my legs! That seems to be the case with a lot of kids.

The one really encouraging thing I have read over and over again about our spirited kids is that they often turn out to be very driven and motivated!

Any how, thanks for sharing your story. I hope that your husband returns soon from Iraq and that you will all be together again! In the meantime good luck!
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