From the beginning my daughter has been a very fussy baby, her Pedi just said it was colic, so I just always thought it was that..but now my daughter is 8 1/2 months old and still has "colic" and its gotten soo much worse!! Someone told me to read up on high needs babies..I did read an article about it and she fits alot of the criteria..but some of it she doesnt. Ive breastfed from the beginning also and its always been the only thing that really seems to calm her down, and she has been teething since 3 months old..so I always thought it was that and the colic that made her super fussy. She is still teething and has no teeth to show for it..She used to sleep through the night for a few months and how now completely stopped..she wakes up ever hour so I bring her in my bed and feed her until she falls back asleep and when I try to put her back in her bed she screams bloody murder..I dont understand because she goes to sleep in her own bed at nap time and at the start of night for bed time...im just soo tired I dont get any sleep and im just exhausted and I dont see how my daughter who doesnt hardly sleep at night has sooo much energy! the only two things that make her happy are crawling and nursing (or babyfood) she is a very impatient eater when it comes to baby food, she has to have one bite after another NO pauses, when shes nursing she even pulls on and off and gets a little fussy now though, but it is the only way I can come her if shes in a flat out fit and screaming her head off. She has to has constant stimulation, she CANT sit still, she likes me to hold her but I cant be holding her sitting down, it has to be me holding her and standing or walking around. She is soo determined when shes crawling shes always trying to get into everything, she zeroes in on something and goes right for it full speed ahead and nothing gets in her way, if I pick her up and move her away from it she zooms right back...so basically my day consists of no sleep at night, feeding her constantly, following her around the house while she crawls trying to get into everything (cause its the only thing that makes her happy) and she really doesnt like any of her toys, she literally plays with them for 3-5 minutes max and is done with them..and some of them were expensive, she hates the exersaucer and the playpen, sometimes likes the swing (depends on her mood) changing her diaper is horrible...she kicks her feet all over the place and refuses to hold still so I can clean her bottom and then when I try to put her diaper on she kicks and tries to scoot out of it..so diaper changing is something I seriously dread! I feel like she is a very high maintenance baby! lol I love her with all my heart and I wouldnt trade her for anything..but I just wish she would be a little easier on me especially in the sleep department..and let me say going to the store (even to grocery shop)or to a restaurant is usually out of the question, she likes the movement of the cart, but im not allowed to stop the cart to get something off the shelf because she will scream bloody murder and everyone is starin at me! but my husband is deployed so I have to do the grocery shopping, there is no one else to help me with it...do I have a high needs baby or am I still looking in the wrong place?
Based on your description, it sounds like it. I can't say that I'm an expert, but after 16 months, I've come to realize that I have a bit of a high need or should I say "spirited" boy myself. As a newborn, people would always comment on how alert he seemed; he never was the type of baby to contentedly stare off into space. I too struggle with shopping outings. He's in the cart then out of the cart, then I'm lugging all 31# of him in one arm and trying to drag my cart and keep him from upending my coupons all over. Other women with their little angels sitting perfectly in the designated child seat, give me looks like I'm somehow indulging unruly behavior. He has a need for variety and keeping things interesting or he will loudly protest for all to hear. It's the only way I can franticly get the shopping done. If I do manage to leave him with my husband on a rare occasion, I almost feel like I've left my left arm at home. From the time my son was born, he wanted to be held CONSTANTLY and only by me. I resorted to wearing him in a sling just to get some household work done. He's taken naps in his crib only a handful of times. He co-sleeps with us as I quickly discovered that this was the only way to get any sort of sleep and at 16 months can count only one time that he's slept a stretch of 8 hours. I can say that the neediness is improving as he's getting older and seems to have finally "discovered" my husband as the keeper of all sorts of interesting boy things like cars, lawn mowers, golf clubs, etc. I'm a little worried, however, as I'll be starting back to work parttime and haven't left him for more than 4-5 hours. I've been on an extended maternity leave all this time as leaving him was too stressful for the both of us. But finances are tight as they are for a lot of people right now, so it's really not an option for me to continue being off. I don't know if I've helped you at all, but please know that you are not alone with the greater than average challenges of raising a high need child.
Thank you for sharing your story with us! It certainly sounds like you have a high needs baby. Dr. Sears is a great resource for tips and tricks to help you get through. I also want to encourage you, like I always say, to get a thorough medical evaluation from your baby's pediatrician. You just want to rule out any medical things that might cause the behavior such as reflux, etc.
Feel free to browse around, ask questions, vent, etc. Please be patient for replies - this board moves at a slower pace since we are all so busy with our littleones! Wishing you all the best!
Amanda
CL of Budgeting, Debt Q&A, High Needs Infants and Toddlers
