Homeschooling

I've read the board daily for months and months but don't participate as much as usual since my marriage ended and we all get settled into our new life.  Things are still in flux but wanted to share a great moment I had today.

H and I had our first mediation meeting today.  We've been apart for almost 5 months but, for various reasons, we didn't start mediation to legally separate everything until now.  We sat in separate rooms because my H has had several raging yelling fits at me and , frankly, I'm afraid of him.  He knows this is why I'm only trying mediation with us in separate rooms.  I refuse to see him face to face and refuse to talk on the phone with him.  E-mail has been our only communication for months and it seems to work okay.

So, the guy who has sent me no less than 4 e-mails over the last 6 months about how amazing our children are and he knows it's because I've done such a wonderful job hs'ing them--now doesn't think our children are getting a good education.  I've hs'ed our kids for 9 years!!!  I couldn't hear what he said but heard the response of the mediator and H was asking for and spewing some, crazy stuff.  The mediator came back to me and said H wanted a weekly or monthly report about what the children did for homeschooling over that time.  I flat out refused.  Sadly, H sees his ability to control me slipping through his fingers and is trying to find something to control after everything is said and done.  I know the hs'ing laws here and all H can really ask for is me to report to the school board.  He hasn't gotten there nor am I going to offer it.  I've done a great job hs'ing my kids and I make no apologies.

I returned home to 3 kids who had done various amounts of their schoolwork and were still in their pj's.  We had our Monday morning meeting to discuss this week's schedule, meals, sports, etc.  The rest of the day was planned out and I started to help ds13 with his notetaking for History.  We spent an hour on it because we all had so much to add to what was written.  I had a 13&16yo quoting Martin Luther King Jr. "I Have a Dream" speech.  They also discussed aparteid in South Africa, then discussed the history of South Africa and finally discussed some other bits of history.  These kids aren't getting a good education?!

Dd9 and I went to the book store because she's looking for some new books to read.  She found a book and was talking away about lots of different things while she held my hand and walked across the parking lot.  We went to pick up crickets for our lizards and discussed what the crickets need to live, etc.  At the grocery store she continued to talk and I answered a million questions as is life with dd9 ;-)  As I looked at her during these moments I realized I've had a wonderful privilege in my life.  I've spent almost every moment with this child since her birth.  She trusts me more than anyone in the world and I am the biggest influence on her.  When we got home and her brothers bombarded me with the storyline of the new book they're reading and offered to make supper and just basked in my attention and positive reaction to them, I felt privileged all over again.

It wasn't until someone threatened (however lame the threat might be) my right to hs my kids that I realized how lucky I am.  I have 3 wonderful kids, they're doing well because of me and my positive influence in their lives and we're all going to be okay.

I suppose my point in this rambling is to ask you to look at your kids and feel privileged to be able to hs them.  This is a precious gift that very few get or are able to give.  We and are families are among the lucky ones.

Thank you for sharing this Kath. I am grateful every day for the opportunity to be with my kids and homeschool them. I know it's a privileged lifestyle that I don't take forgranted.

It sounds like you and your kids are thriving through this challenge and kudos to you. I hope everything gets resolved peacefully with your divorce and you can continue to hs your kids. Hoping for the best for your family.

I agree it is a privilege, and I am thrilled to be happy to spend so much time with my kids...that I do not regret. It is a lifestyle about giving time, more than money, because many people home school with much smaller budgets than mine, and do so with great success. It is also work...we all could be living in our own world and just shuttling kids to educators in other places, but we have decided to do the work of home study, of observing our child(ren) or meeting their educational needs. SO privilage does come with sacrifice, yet you do have to be able to do it...the work and responsibility of having the kids around all the time.

I am sorry your h is trying to control by attacking whatever he can, such as your rights as a home educating Mother. Yet I think that is the norm in mediating divorce. I wish you the best in getting it all worked out and divided up....the end of something is painful even if you want it to happen. Stay well.

Heather   

Thanks so much Kath for your words and for sharing your joy and challenges.  Your words are so true.  I hope that all goes well for you and that the mediations were a success and that you and your h can work things out so that the situation can be best for all whatever that might look like.   And I hope things settle down and you have peace soon!!!

Blessings, 

Kath, It is good to hear from you.  It really sounds as if things are going more smoothly now that you are separated than before maybe?  If so, I am glad for it. 

It is nice to hear about your peaceful day with your happy well educated kids!  Thanks for the reminder to be thankful.