Tomorrow would have been Tyler's second birthday. I am feeling pretty numb. I have been so busy with Anna I have to make myself think about him. All I think about was how awful the whole experience of his early birth and being in the NICU was. It makes me angry. I scheduled myself to work tomorrow and didn't make much of an effort to find someone to cover for me once I realized what I did. I think I am just trying to distract myself. Now I feel incredibly guilty that I haven't planned any celebration and that I will be stuck at work while DH is home with Anna all day by himself. -erica
Erica don't be so hard on yourself, sometimes working is easier than sitting around miserable like we tend to make ourselves on days like this. Tyler knows how much you love him.
Happy 2nd birthday Tyler!!! I know Honey says he feels like he should work too so he doesn't have to think about it, so maybe that might just be what is better for you too. That doesn't mean that you can't do something later today with hubby and Anna. Tyler knows you love him. Pick up a cake later on, bring it home, and have some with your family. Let a balloon go up to him. No matter what you do, he will love it!
Sorry about the anniversary - how did you celebrate?
Emmushkas BD was on September 30th and I made her BD cake and let 2 balloons go (oh we let 3 because Emilka wanted to let go of one too) I told you we have this tradition each time we have a balloon we grab it and whisper something to Emmushka and than let go (Emilka started this tradition 1,5 years ago - she was only 6 years old - and smart already!!!) so we did that but it was very sad day for me so I understand what you went through as well.
Erica - I am late, but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you... How did it go that day? I understand the feeling of having another to "keep busy with" while mourning an angel. (Liam and Kate are 14 mos apart). Sending you hugs. It's okay to be numb... really. It's stages of grief, right?
