Hi everyone! My name is Dina and I joined this board over 5 years ago after the death of my infant daughter Nikki. She was with me for 36 hours before she joined the angels up above. In February it'll mark 6 years of missing and wanting my baby girl back in my arms. Since then I've had her sister Kiera whose 15 months old and I'm 5 months pregnant with her other sister Bella whose due in mid March. I'm nervous that I'll have Bella in Feb but I've made peace with that and accepted that my latest bundle of joy will come when she's ready.
What terrifies me is the drs insistance for extra scans. Bella doesn't cooperate when it comes to the ultrasounds and it makes me wonder what she's hiding. Nikki didn't cooperate either. Unlike Nikki however, Bella is measuring on target. Nikki measured way behind from about 12 weeks on. I've been on prescription antipsychotics and the one I'm on now can cause birth defects. I'm hoping and praying that since Bella is fully formed then she wont suffer the effects of the medication I have to be on. Unfortantely this is left over from suffering through Nikki's death although I was off the meds during Kiera's pregnancy. I also don't feel Bella's movements (also similar to my pregnancy with Nikki) but I have an anterior placenta so I'm sure that is contributing to the lack of feeling movement.
Anyways.. if you guys can say a prayer for me I'd appreciate it. Unfortuantely there isn't many people who understand the thoughts and fears of being pregnant after suffering a horrible loss like losing your child. It's not like a miscarriage or a stillbirth.
