It has been a week now since my miscarriage. Within that week, I am not kidding, THREE different friends have either told me in person or emailed that they are pregnant.
Now, I am of course happy for them, and I wish them the best, BUT - it's so hard. They are all people I would like to tell about my miscarriage, but what do I say: "Congrats and by the way I just lost another baby?"
I just needed to vent and I knew you ladies would understand.
Sigh.... Anyone else in the same boat, and how did you handle it?
My ex-SIL and I were pregnant at the same time. She was 4 months ahead of me. I was excited to be pregnant with her. Our babies, cousins, would be only 4 months apart. They would be able to grow up together. As she had had several miscarriages, she had only announced her pregnancy just before she hit 4 months. So the families were still enjoying the newness of her announcement.
We never got to tell anyone we were pregnant. We decided to wait quite awhile, as much as it killed us, just to be sure since we knew, with my fertility issues, we may have a few challenges to overcome. Unfortunately, just a mere 2 weeks before we were going to tell our families, I lost our little girl. Now, even to this day, almost 6 years later, only he, I and a friend of his and a friend of mine know. He and I are no longer together so I get to go through the sadness of the day I lost her and what was to be her birthday alone.
Anyway, it hurt seeing my SIL going happily through her pregnancy. While I was happy for her, and I was, it was hard seeing her go through what I so very badly wanted. When her daughter was born, I was happy and excited the baby was healthy and arrived without issue. I had no desire to want to go see them. None. I did go see them the day they arrived home, simply because all the family was going. It was weeks before I saw them again. It just hurt. Here she was with her happy, healthy baby, and I had been robbed of mine. I know this sounds selfish. I really was happy for her. It just was so painful to see her, and anyone else, with what I so badly wanted.
It eventually does get easier to see and be around babies and pregnant ladies. Don't push yourself. Try to stay away from situations where you know there will be a pregnant lady (ie: baby showers). In time, as you heal it, with other things, will come easier.
We had been trying since the reversal vasectomy back in June. So, I had already dealt with the jealousy and envy of I swear every cousin I grew up with getting pregnant. Half were complaining about not wanting to be pregnant. OMG. I hated every moment of it. My SIL is due in April. I was so excited our babies would have been less than a year apart. I haven't had even an email from her since it happened. I think she is avoiding me like the plague hoping the m/c doesn't wear off. I understand even though it hurts like hell.
It is very hurtful to see everyone else having a party you got kicked out of. Cause that sure the hell is how this feels. 3 of my cousins have children under 3 months old. One is fixing to deliver and then there is my SIL. So I completely feel ya. If they were truly there for you on the first m/c. I mean the good friend that brought you food and cried with you I would tell them. If they were the Oh don't worry everything happens for a reason kind of gals I wouldn't just because it is hard enough to be near them without that kind of nasty niceness hanging in the room making you want to kick a chick. :) I hope you smiled picturing that.
I understand completely. Since my MC I have had 4 cousins come out about being pregnant, and 3 friends. Plus 2 friends give birth. And my closest cousing is due next week. So, I am of course happy, but mourning my loss. One cousin is only 15 and doesnt know if she is keeping it. So I am agravated, and my way of dealing is coming on here where everyone understands:)
Me-21 DH-21 Together 4 years. Explorative surgery April 18th, 2007, PCOS, and Endometriosis. DH counts and mobility are awesome, so its all me:-( TTC since February 2008
1-clomid 50 mg, no ovulation 2,3,4-clomid100, no ovulation 5-clomid 100, ovulated!! BFN 6,7,8-clomid 100, metformin 1500, IUI Sept. 2nd-BFN 9- 10/25 started 150 clomid, 1500 metformin, baby asprin and pre seed, BFP 12 DPO 12/3/2008 Miscarried at 5 weeks Taking December off (from clomid) and then trying again.
After 40 days with no AF after MC I decided to test, and there was a faint line. This was on Jan. 9th. So, I called and made a appt. and I am pregnant!! I have low progesterone, so I am on a vaginally inserted pill until I don't need it anymore.
BETA#1 hcg 126, progesterone, 11
BETA#2 hcg 379, prog went up, cant remember # though:(
First U/S-1-22-09, perfect 5 week gestational sac. Perfect blood test results!!
2nd U/S heartbeat, but subchorionic hemorrhage was causing me red bleeding, put on bed rest. Blood test was hcg 9851 5w6d
Feb. 6th, woke up passing golf ball size clots. Went to doctor, ultra sound could see where sac should be but there was so much bleeding it was on its way out. blood test 851, prog 3. Lost baby number 2 at exactly 7 weeks.
I am taking a break. Maybe a year, or until I feel like it is time to try again:( I need to heal first.
I know how you feel. I lost my 3rd baby in Nov last year and just last month my bf told me she found out she's pregnant. She's also my maid of honor. Of course I'm happy for her but I'm also pissed. I want a child so bad and in order for me to have one I no choice but to do ivf. That's just too expensive so I'm not sure what's going to happen. But everytime she or someone else starts talking baby talk I just want to strangle them and tell them to shut up. I hate being so angry, even though a few months have passed I'm still not over it. I think it is ok to be angry, we have a right to. Hopefully one day we'll get what we deserve.
