Pregnancy Loss

This is my first and I hate to bring up bad memories. But I have a few questions.

First, I am bloated, is that normal? And how long is the bleeding and cramping gonna last? My OB said 7-10 days?

On an emotional note. I am depressed and don't feel like doing anything, but i do and put on this front, that I am ok. When will it get better?

THANKS ladies! And I am so sorry for all your losses. It's a horrible thing to experience. Hoping time heals all your wounds.

Hi Leighann

I don't remember being bloated.  But my loss was over 6 years ago so my recolection of some of the details are a little fuzzy. 

As far as the bleeding goes:  I had only, maybe, two days of heavy bleeding, the rest was light spotting.  The whole thing lasted about 5-6 days if I recall correctly.

When will it get better?  Thats the million dollar question.  its different for everyone.  You will learn a new normal.  Eventually things will get brighter and happier.  For now, allow yourself time to grieve.  Do whatever feels right to you.  What works/worked for me may not be suitable for you.  I too put on the front that I was OK, mostly because we never got to tell anyone we were expecting.  So not only was the pregnancy a secret that we hadn't yet revealed, I also had to hide the fact I lost my first, and thus far, only child. 

Just remember, when the time comes, being happy doesn't mean you've forgotten your little angel.   Being happy  means you've dealt/are dealing with the grief.

Hang in there. ((hugs))

Hi Leighann:  I think it depends on how far along you were.  With my first loss, I bled for 4 days and then spotted for about 5; but, I was only about 5 weeks.  With this loss, I was 10 weeks and my baby measured at 8 weeks, 5 days.  I bled heavily on that day and wound up in the ER for hours.  Then I bled on and off for 2 weeks and I am still spotting a bit - it is 3 weeks now.

I don't feel normal yet and feel quite depressed.  Erin: I so appreciate your thoughts on learning a "new normal."  That makes sense to me.  Like you both, I too put on a front at work, and with friends (many don't know about the loss).  I have learned that on some days I am a pretty good actress and on others, not so much.  Some days I feel like I am dealing with it and then the next day, I'm a total mess.  I'm starting to feel like I have multiple personality disorder!

Leighann: Take the time you need to heal and know that anything that you feel or do is normal, given your loss.  Praying for happy times ahead for you.

Karen

Leighann,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  With my m/c I bled heavily for 2 weeks, then called the OBGYN to inquire........he prescribed me a couple of doses of meds to help my uterus contract and expel possible leftover tissue, and within 24 hours after the second dose, the bleeding stopped completely.  4 weeks later I got AF (first one was very heavy......I visited the ER about it but was told that it is normal for menstruation to change with any pregancy, no matter the outcome).  So, physically, it was over and new cycles had started within 6 weeks.  Emotionally is a different story.......I m/c almost 8 months ago and I still have times where I am really down about it.  In the beginning, I was also a good actress, even with close friends and DH because I thought that it made them uncomfortable.........but I learned to open up and let it out and that has helped alot.  Other things that helped me were getting back to things that made me feel good (ex: going back to the gym, going out with friends etc).

Best wishes to you.

Steph