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So Hard

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  32246.1
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  Nov-4 3:09 pm

Ok, I don't even know where to start. I am a marine wife and my husband is currently out of the states for training. Of course everything happens when he is gone. I had a miscarriage yesterday. I went to the ER with my other 2 kids. I felt so alone I had no one to turn to for help. I was about 4 weeks along. I keep thinking about what I could have done differently and how I could of changed the outcome of this. I feel as if I am to blame in some way. Not having my husband here to go through this with me is the hardest part for me. He has always been my support system and he's not here. Right now I need a huge hug from him, as if that will make everything better. I am a strong person, but I don't know if I am strong enough to do this on my own for much longer. I feel like shutting down but I still have 2 other children that I need to take care of. I just feel alone and as if this is all my fault some how.
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So Hard

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  32246.2 in response to 32246.1
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  Nov-7 8:21 am

Hi

Welcome.  I'm so sorry you've had to join us here.

First off let me start by saying this is not your fault.  There is nothing you did, or didn't do to cause this.  It is normal to feel like you could have done something differently.  I think we all at some point, to varying degrees, go through thinking it was us that caused this.  I did myself.  I think its a coping mechanism of sorts.

Secondly I know what its like to go through this alone.  I myself went through it alone.  Know now you're not alone.  You've got us here. 

((hugs))

 

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So Hard

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  Nov-8 10:57 pm

I understand how you feel. My husband deployed August 3rd to Iraq, I found out August 15th that my baby had Turners syndrome at 15 weeks pregnant. I remember crying in my car outside the doctors office, wishing he was with me. I found out Sept 15th that she passed threw ultrasound. He was home for a 48 hour pass, he had to leave the next morning to get on the plane to go over. I had her a few days later.

It has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do, because I had to do it alone. And he is still frustrated to this day that he wasn't there for me, and isn't now.

I don't understand the timing...but it happened. I guess what doesn't kill us makes us stronger? The only thing I've really learned from this was that I am still a strong woman...I am not dependent on him totally. Idk.

http://0urkorner.blogspot.com/

                      Mommy loves you!!

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