Feb. Leap Year Luv Bugs '04

It's not as bad as it sounds, but I got a notice yesterday that he's being placed in a special group of 2-3 kids to help teach him the language skills he'll need for Grade 1.  I know I'm not supposed to feel this way, but I feel like a failure and that my son will struggle with academics the rest of his life, just because he's been put in this small group.  I'm sure it'll help tremendously, but they'll be giving me ideas on how to help him at home as well, which is frustrating.  I have a feeling it'll just be more desk work and trust me, I can print off a million different assignments with fancy pictures and buy him fancy crayons or pencils and he still won't sit still for longer than 5-6 minutes to do any of the work.  I feel like I've failed him already and he's only in Senior Kindergarten.  I'm also trying to remind myself that boys learn differently than girls and just because he's behind all his "girlfriends" at school doesn't mean he isn't smart; he's just disinterested in what they're teaching him.  Still, I want him to be the best he can possibly be and not struggle in school and eventually hate it and quite frankly, I'm sick of the arguing when I try to get him to do his work.  Between his schoolwork, housework, my job, sibling rivalry referee-ing and patching things up with Chris I don't know how I'm going to calmly sit down and help him without passing on my anxieties to him.  Poor kid!  His mother really sucks at this stuff :(

Christine

Aww, Christine, don't beat yourself up.  Just b/c he needs a little extra help now doesn't mean he'll lag behind forever.  Some kids really do take a little longer to catch on, but most of the ones that lagged behind catch up by 2nd grade. 

Sydney is the same way with sitting still, it's just not in her nature.  She's easily distracted.  I have to send Kendall out of the room so Syd can do her work, but she still manages to talk to the cat, herself, the wall, whatever.  She is just very active.  She's smart and would do much better if she just applied herself.  She struggled with reading at first, but one day, it just clicked and she's reading chapter books now.  The key, IMO, is to make learning fun---use games or things that interest him (tape words on the bottom of Matchbox cars, rolls them across the floor and have him try to read the word...etc). 

You may also try finding a child a few years old to hang out and work with him (neighbor, friend's child, etc).  Kendall probably knows as much as Syd does in some areas.  We were doing Syd's math homework last night and I was explaining how to solve a math problem and Kendall walks up and says "Sydney, it's 62!"  Show off...lol.  Honestly, I don't think it's that Kendall is smarter, I think she just learned faster by modeling her sister.

HTH--Easier said than done, but I would not worry..."a little extra help" is never a bad thing....he might run circles around the other kids in 1st grade!

Aww, Christine! I'm so sorry you're so upset over this! As I know you've been told & I've been told countless times, all kids learn & mature at different levels.

You are absolutely NOT a failure, I'll bet the small group will help him focus more & he may actually be ahead of the other children when all is said & done!

I was in Speech when I was in kindergarten & 1st grade. I have no idea why! When I graduated from HS, the school gave me my permanent records, dating back to preschool. Turns out, my preschool & kindergarten teachers both recommended me for 'Special Ed'...again, dont' know why! My mom never told me that & I know she knew b/c of parent/teacher conferences. So, see? I turned out "normal"! ;)

DO NOT feel bad! 

Its awesome that he's going to get extra help, cause a teacher does not have any time to work individually with kids.  Be thankful that they have determined to work closer with him at the beginning of the year rather than the end of the year.

Maybe schedule a phone conversation with the teacher to put yourself at ease and ask for some suggestions,  and explain that he won't sit still at home and that you try. 

One thing we do at home is have Jenna change the channels on the tv and at the same time she's learning number recognition.  She is very good at 221 ( the kids channel in our area)

We use stickers as a reward, Jenna has a calendar in her room and each night gets to put one X amount of stickers..She thinks its great every so often we go and get new stickers.

For the record, some of the boys I went to school with that went for extra help outside the regular classroom are now air traffic controllers!

When Maya is at the sitter do you think you could volunteer in the classroom to get an idea to what is happening?

Thanks everyone for your suggestions.  I know deep down it's not a big deal and we're very very lucky to get some attention and help that most kids don't seem to get these days and most schools don't offer.  Reading/writing is not his thing, but he seems to be really good at math and enjoys it, and if building stuff with blocks were a subject he'd be acing it!  LOL.  To me, I don't enough with him and for him and I'm thinking if I had sat with him more often to do these activities that he wouldn't have needed the help.  I can justify why I don't spend more time with him on his schoolwork but reasons/excuses aren't going to help him and it's bothering me.  I'm just kicking myself.

As for volunteering, it's on my to-do list but I keep thinking on days the kids are in school/daycare I should really be at home cleaning the house so I haven't quite figured out when/how to fit volunteering into the schedule.  I currently don't have a schedule and just tackle the most in-my-face thing at the moment as it comes along.  I need to get my head on straight.

Christine