Parenting After a Stillbirth/Infant Loss

On the 2 month anniversary of my Owen Patrick's death (6/30), we got a call from the funeral home/cemetary saying that his memorial/headstone had been installed.  It was a reassuring call to get on the anniversary of his death.

We went out earlier today (4th of July) to visit Owen, see his headstone, and take him some flags for the 4th.  We tried to get out as early as we could before the heat set in, but it was already so very hot so we didn't get to stay long because Sophia was getting really cranky in the heat (and I can't blame her).

I'm attaching a couple pictures of Owen's marker and Sophia.  We like to spread a blanket in the shade and play him his lullaby ("Godspeed" by Radney Foster) when we go to visit (you can see this in the picture of DH and Sophia).  It sounds kind of silly - but even though we didn't do a whole lot for the 4th, it felt like there was a an extra big hole in my heart today because Owen wasn't with us and his sister to celebrate.  Maybe it was because we dressed her in a special 4th of July outfit, I don't know.  I miss our little boy dearly.

Melissa

Sophia Gail - our IVF-ICSI miracle baby after 4 3/4 years TTC

Owen Patrick - our angel in heaven and Sophia's forever twin and guardian angel

 

 

The picture of your DH and DD is so sweet. I wish DH and I were able to do those things but I don't think DH can handle it. Would you believe that we still don't have a headstone after 5 years.

All the holidays are rough not having a child there with the family. Easter is the hardest one for me and I always cry!

HUGS

Melissa,

Gosh, I can't even imagine how hard all of this must be for you. I had a difficult time being around babies for about a year...and here you are mothering a baby exactly the same age as your angel. I think certain holidays are very difficult. For me it is Mother's Day (3 days before our loss) and Father's Day (soon after our loss).

(((hugs))) and hang in there. The pictures are beautiful.

Thanks - that makes me a feel little more normal about being sad on the 4th.  I'm sorry about you losing your twin daughters.  Your DD in your siggy is just too precious. 

I know that having other child(ren) to care for helps keep your mind off of the loss, but it never heals the broken heart.  Sometimes I think I am still in the shock/denial stage too - since I have more good days than bad days right now.  I really do try and stay upbeat though for the sake of my DD.

Melissa

Sophia Gail - our IVF-ICSI miracle baby after 4 3/4 years TTC

Owen Patrick - our angel in heaven and Sophia's forever twin and guardian angel