people romanticize the baby phase, and some babies are easier and it is easier to bond. Now I am not saying other babies are "bad" or unlovable, but they may exhaust and stress a mom more so that it is harder for her to feel her good feelings. Part of it may be the mom's inner resources and part of it may be the baby's personality. Things were so much easier with my first baby: she was calmer, slept better, etc. then my second came and she is super active, almost hyperactive, doesn't sleep as well, and fusses more and they were both babies. I felt and feel awful that sometimes I get very frustrated with the new baby and honestly, look forward to being down with the baby phase. Right now I am not enjoying the baby phase at all, but I have an older child and find that stage much more rewarding. Not every mom is cut out to like the phase when they are babies. Some babies just sit in strollers, sleep well, etc. so it is easy on the mom, but if your child is super demanding, then well, it really isn't that much fun at times! Yes I love both children, but I loved the baby stage much more the first time, the second time, it just isn't that much fun...
I know just how you feel. It took almost a year for me to be 'smitten' with my son. I felt awful, I had always dreamed of become a mother, and as soon as he was born I couldn't even stand to look at him, let alone love him. My husband fell in love right away, which made me feel worse. But it did happen. You have been fooled into thinking at it always mag icily happens right away, and it doesn't. This is a tiny person that you have to get to know, and that takes time. It took me a long to see that, not bonding doesn't make me a bad mother. It happened, and I love him now more than anything, I now sit in his room at night marveling at him. Don't put the added pressure on yourself, it takes time, and will come, and it will be more wonderful than you can imagine.
((hugs)) I am also on Celexa and it has worked very well. I can totally relate. Being a mom is hard and there are so many pressures to be supermom that is can be overwhelming. When I was going to counseling and expressing some of my issues, like why I wanted time to myself or why didn't I want to spend every hour coddling my baby? ... my counselor said I was just saying out loud what many women would not. Give yourself some time. I know you love your baby. I thought I would have that IN LOVE feeling the minute I saw him and when it didnt happen I wondered what was wrong with me. It got easier as time went on and the medicine worked more but I still get overwhelmed sometimes with being a mommy. I think the standards for moms are just too high. It is okay to not be IN LOVE with your baby all the time. The older Robert gets the more I feel love for him. Like the prior post, I think I will like the toddler and older years much more than the baby years. You are a great mommy, you are getting help and healing. It takes some time. Please feel free to email me through my profile, I would be happy to be a shoulder to lean on. (((hugs)))
Thank you Cheryl (cl-cheryl2005) for the wonderful siggy!
