Postpartum Depression

I am in pretty rough shape these days.  I had my son almost 8 weeks ago and have been a wreck since.  Some days are better than others but for the most part I just function day in and day out.  I enjoy very little and cry all the time.  I give my husband the cold shoulder all the time and am putting up a wall between us.  I don't feel supported by him which adds to my stress. 

I have a long history of depression and anxiety and was on medication before my pregnancy and weaned off during my first trimester.  I really didn't want to be on it while pg and was doing pretty well so I decided to come off and try to stay off.  I now know that isn't going to be possible...I need to be back on something and I need to find a new therapist.  My old one doesn't take my new health insurance and her sliding scale is $90 for 50 minutes :(  I have a lot of other issues like extreme jealousy and low self-esteem which is making me feel lower than low.  I am just so tired of feeling like this and don't know what to do.  It feels like everything is just crap and that's how it is always going to be.  Breastfeeding has been so difficult for us and I feel like such a failure because i can't get ds to latch on.  I am exclusively pumping now and I am sore and frustrated.  I hate where I live (a tiny basement apartment that is always a mess even if I just cleaned).  Money is so tight I feel guilty for every penny I spend.  I feel guilty for eating dairy products (I was vegan before being pregnant) and feel like dh (who is still strict vegan) disapproves of what I eat.  I feel like I'll never lose the extra weight from the baby and like I'll never be attractive again or fit into my old clothes.  I get so anxious sometimes when I think of all the responsibility I have and I just want a break for even a day. But there is no break...it's all so constant and it hurts and I just don't know what to do to make it stop.

Sorry this is all so random...too many thoughts.  Baby is waking up so back to work for me.

Proud mommy to Oliver <3  

Congrats on your new son! He's absolutely handsome!

let me ask this - why the lifestyle change in adding dairy to your diet if you were a vegan?

Today PSI has a support call for women, caregivers, etc. They also have a support line you can call. You can find this number by going to http://www.postpartum.net. I would strongly encourage you to call.

As for therapy, check with your insurance first to find out what is covered, how many visits, if you need prior permission, etc. I know that's alot but it's better to know now than to get hit with a huge bill later. Start with your general caregiver and go from there. (piece of advice though, if your general caregiver just slaps an AD on it you're going to want to get a second opinion) Make SURE to get checked for anemia and have your thyroid levels checked as well. Both can cause symptoms similar to postpartum depression yet they need to be treated with an entirely different set of medications.

You may also want to check out this website: http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome It's a wonderful online therapy site (FREE!) that seems to be worth it's weight. You can do it from the comfort of your own home. While it doesn't specifically deal with postpartum depression it does deal with depression and you may find it helpful.

I'm glad you found us and posted. Please take care of you and keep us updated as you can, ok? Looking forward to sharing the journey!
Warmest,
Lauren Hale