Positive Parenting

Hi

I have a two year old DD and a six week old DS, todayi was setting up an indoor tent for DD when she took the tent poll and proceeded to hit me and then the tv, then when i when to get the poll it broke so thus no tent. After talking with her i think she want that interested in the tent and wanted her tunnel intstead. Ok i go to put tent away come ack to her over her little brother fly swat in hand then next second she hit him with it. I was so mad and frustrated, I moved her away from her little brother made sure he was ok and then talked to her telling her that it is not ok to hit, it hurts , and that mummy felt mad because she doesnt like it when we hurt each other. I am just so frustrated i am doing all i can to iplay games with her with her, cuddle , let her know how much we love her and i know that she is adjusting to having a sibling, but i cant let her hurt us or her little brother.

any advice on what to do? what i should say ?

Welcome to the board, Megs! I wish I had an easy fix for you. I hope some of the other members will give you some good advice. The only thing I would try is to not put the baby on the floor and keep distracting her from things when she starts to show any signs of hitting.

You might try something here: http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpbehavior/topics/0,,4rtw,00.html?ice=ivl,searcht?ice=iv:mb:msg:ww

I'm glad the baby was okay!!

Hugs,

Sadly there isn't a "magic" fix for this!  **hugs**

I may not be the best for advice since I have an onlie...but...

if you have always used PP with her, I'd keep going... and I'd do some other/weird stuff (I am weird, I know...LOL)

I would make sure you never start a sentence with, "no the baby is...." sleeping/eating/crying/dirty/whatever...

For now the baby takes a "back seat" to DD...the baby won't really be, it is just an illusion for DD.

I would imagine the last 8 wks (or more) has been hard.  Mommy was pregnant and tired, than the baby came home and Mommy was more sore and tired.  The baby cried, HAD to be fed, HAD to sleep, etc.

She doesn't know WHAT the baby is at this age except it is ruining her life! (LOL)

So I would revert, as much as you can, back to DD's "schedule" before the baby.

Teach the baby to sleep through noises - it will work and save you later on.  than when DD is doing X, you won't say she has to be quiet for the baby.

At the same time I'd be talking with how special older sister's are, how happy the baby is to have gotten DD as a Sister, maybe have the baby "mail" DD a present, etc.

She isn't going to "get" it for a while...but she might not resent the baby as much.

I am the younger sister and my sister was 2 when I came along...she tried to repeatedly kill me for almost a year.  She didn't know any better just that I "stole" her Mommy.  We didn't get along for YEARS.

**hugs**

 

Thank you for your responses, things have dramtically improved since i posted last. We have had the odd bad day here and there but much better than it was. I realised i needed to take a step back and see what DD was missing and really needed. I was trying to be engaging but it obviously wasnt in a way she needed at the moment and i have been overly worrying about keeping the house tidy etc. SO  I upped the outdoor time - (going for walks and to the park afterwards) and am back to all our regular activites , I think me getting some fresh air really helps my attitude and patiience levels also .

so thanks again ladies.

I know this is late in coming but I hope you are able to check these out. Understanding normal, 2 yr old behavior is the key to dealing with it. They don't really understand the things that we assume they do. That's where most parents make their mistakes. She doesn't know yet that she can really hurt the baby but she will slowly learn with your gentle guidance! It's hard at first but soon it will be so routine you won't even realize you're teaching her. Here are some links to help:

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter2.html

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter2.html

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter2.html (the last parts of this will pertain to your child more than the first)

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pam_leo5.html

If you need more let me know! Good luck...let us know how you're all doing!