Pregnancy and Depression/Mental Illness

Hey ya'll. I'm from the Philippines and i'm due on Feb. 4, 2010. I'm only 19 years old. I found out that I was pregnant just recently and I was already four months pregnant. I was sooo scared to tell my parents. I'm a graduating student and would most probably take up law. I am so scared. I am not yet ready. I'm young AND do not know how to raise a child. I have so many fears. I feel like this is more than the pregnancy blues. Anyway, my parents found out about it. I had no choice but to tell them. They were so devastated, angry, sad, disappointed. My mom was inconsolable and my older brother was so sad. After that, me and my mom went to the doctor, we told her that I just found out recently about the pregnancy. Now, I am worried because I took antibiotics because of my chronic sinusitis, flu, cough and at my first trimester, I took medicines and I smoked.I am so worried on what would happen to my baby, Aside from not being prepared and being lonely, I feel like I have jeopardized my baby's development and health. I need a support group, people, I don't know what to do. My family still can't accept it. Even for me, it hasn't sunk in yet. :'(((

PS:
I have another problem, my dad doesn't want the father of my baby to be a part of his/her life. I'm confused but all I know is I don't want to disappoint my parents AGAIN. :(

I am including in my response several url's that you may find helpful. Three of them are for additional message boards here at iVillage that may also be supportive for your situation.

Have you discussed your emotional reaction with your caregiver? What does he/she think?

With all three of my pregnancies, I had alcoholic drinks within my first trimester. Oftentimes a mom will do things like continue to smoke, drink, etc, because she does not know she is pregnant. As long as you have stopped these habits, it'll help baby. Many women continue to do this and go on to have completely normal babies. I'm sure your doctor will monitor for any potential issues.

Please get hooked up with one (or all) of the message boards below for more parenting advice and check with your doctor to find out about any parenting classes you can attend in your area.

((hugs)) You're going to get through this and are already showing signs of being a great mom by asking for help.

As for the dad not wanting to be part of the baby's life - this is not your decision to own. It's his. You cannot force him to be a father, unfortunately. Although legally (at least in the US) he would be required to provide financial assistance. You may want to check into what kind of recourse you would have there if he's not wanting to provide any kind of support whatsoever. Just a thought.

Here are those websites:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pppgunplan (Unplanned Pregnancy)

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-prsurprise (Surprise Pregnancy)

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppteenparent (Teen Moms)

http://www.motherisk.org/women/drugs.jsp (for information re:drugs in pregnancy)

Warmest,

Lauren

I second everything Lauren said-- I was going to recommend the same message boards, as well as this one:

Pregnant & Single:  http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pppregsingle?ice=iv:mb:msg:rk

There are several discussions there about how to tell the baby's father and whether or not he should be  part of the baby's life.

Good luck to you.