Pregnancy and Depression/Mental Illness

I am happy that I am pregnant, but there is so much stress in my life. It all seems like it is a hundred times worse because I am pregnant. My husband didn't work for months because he was trying to get a work at home thing going. We were only paying the bare minimum on our bills. Now I keep getting huge bills saying they have to be paid now! We finally caught up with hydro and the decided to hit us with a 366$ security deposit!!! How is that fair? I have talked to a couple of people and they say nobody can do anything about it. I was so far behind and I finally caught up and now I will be behind again because I am paying this stupid security payment in monthly installments! Then there is property tax etc etc.

My husband and I haven't been getting along very well. He hasn't slept because he is stressed out. He literally has had maybe two hours a week and he is supposed to be on antidepressants but he will forget for a couple of days and then freak out over nothing.

Then there is my daughter. She has severe emotional problems. She was doing really well but lately she is always sad and she will cry and cry loudly and ask why nobody loves her. It breaks my heart and I feel torn apart.

Our house has to have major renovations to make room for the baby. We are going to knock out a wall and make one room way bigger. We are putting in a bathroom, and an office. I don't know when it is going to happen and I am worried it will be when I am really far along or it will happen after the baby comes.

Everything seemed stable until I got pregnant. My daughter sees her psychologist or whatever he is in a month and I can't wait. She seems depressed. I just am so stressed from all the emotions in this house. My husband and I will flip at each other because of the stress and then I feel unloved and wonder what the heck were doing having a baby.

We have been trying for fifteen months to have a baby. We wanted one so bad, and we can't wait for this one to come. We love each other very much but the stress of having not much money and having a high stress kid puts a lot of stress on our marriage. My husband is working now and I am sure that will continue. I know things will get better but it is hard to see the positives right now.
Stassy

What a full full plate!

Have you and your husband talked about the possibility of family or marriage counseling? It may prove beneficial for all of you. (How old is your daughter?)

Finances suck, especially when you get behind. Have you guys thought about what you can cut? Many services can be re-negotiated, etc. My husband and I just re-negotiated/organized our tv and our cell bills. We are saving over 75/month by just doing that. That'll add up to quite a bit by the time a year has passed.

Have YOU talked to anyone about how you're feeling right now? If not, I really think you should.

I'm glad you vented here and i hope you found some relief by just typing everything out. I've found that if I do that it helps immensely.

I hope you'll let us know how you're doing as you can. I am sending lots of hugs and prayers your way!

Warmest,
Lauren

I feel a lot better today. I talked to my husband and told him my concerns and he really listened. We also are buying a stacking washing machine and dryer today which means we can start renovating the laundry room. I also have worked for hours today reorganizing. I got rid of three bags of garbage so far from my kitchen. Stuff I don't use but didn't want to get rid of.

My daughter is nine years old. We have been to family counseling last year, but the counselor couldn't meet when it works for us. Especially hard now the hubby is working. I also talked to my husband about my mixed feelings about the baby coming. I am thrilled but terrified. I am thirty now and I am scared I will be exhausted all the time and it will be really hard on everyone. I know it will be hard, but they will be beautiful days too. When we were planning a baby it didn't seem like it would ever happen. It was a beautiful dream. Now it is reality and I am thrilled but scared of all the changes we are going through. I hate change! Even good change.

The night we came home from our honeymoon, my husband changed my living room around. I had a huge panic attack as it hit me that I wasn't in control of everything anymore. However it has been a wonderful thing and I know it will be the same with baby.

I also made an appointment with the dr for my husbands sleep problems. I also have to make another appt for my daughter because she thinks she has asthma.

Part of my anxiety too is how much I want this baby and love it already. I had a miscarriage in February at four weeks. This pregnancy I am nine weeks along now and I am still scared something will happen. I keep buying things for the baby, like if it has enough stuff how can it not live? LOL I am sure it is fine and healthy but it helps that I can look over and see the exersaucer or other baby paraphernelia.

Anyway sorry I am blabbing, but it is nice to know that someone is reading my words.
Stassy

Have you checked out the Pregnant after Miscarriage/loss board? You may find them helpful too! Your reaction/actions sound completely normal to me in light of your recent miscarriage.

I'm glad you've made some forward progress since posting! That's awesome!

Change is always a nerve-wracking time for me too. I'm getting better at coping but i still get anxious to a certain extent.

keep us posted as you can!

((hugs))

Warmest,
Lauren

Like, Lauren already suggested, I wanted to let you know there is a Pregnant after a Loss board.  Here is the link:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppaftermisc?ice=iv:mb:msg:rk

The ladies there are very helpful and supportive, and will hopefully understand some of what you are going through.