Pregnant and Single

Hi All,

I have posted my history before. I just found out via my friend who saw his facebook that he listed himself as in a relationship with "XXX" (he named the girl). He just walked out on me a few weeks ago bc he didn't want a relationship or to be in our lives BUT he can be in a relationship with this new girl? I AM HUMILIATED. I cannot believe how wrong I was about this man. I'm a grown woman, I'm smart, educated and have great friends, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND? He must have been cheating on me at some point for him to all of a sudden be in a relationship.

I feel so sick to my stomach. Last night I had a panic attack bc I was so overwhelmed by it all. I HATE HIM AND WANT HIM TO HURT AS MUCH AS I DO. He played me for a fool. He left his flesh & blood to start a new "thing" with this new girl and threw us out like we were nothing.

All the time crying he doesn't have the $$ to support our child bc it's going to ruin his plans when he moves to Florida in March. So now he can be in a relationship??

I CAN"T TAKE MUCH MORE FROM THIS LOSER. I have blocked him from my facebook, my phone and my email.,

My dear friend sent the girl a message via facebook telling her that I exist & that he is going to be a deadbeat dad. Then she sent him an email. I wish she hadn't done that bc I don't want him to think I put her up to it (She did it all on her own accord). I know she did it for me out of love and concern for me. HE IS VILE. I'm 16 weeks pregnant, Had my amnio and found out I'm having a GIRL. He doesn't know bc he asked me not to contact him when he walked away, he said it was too "hard" for him. Little did I know it was because he was getting involved with someone else. I mean my own child's father doesn't want me?? What does that say about me? I mean it's such a slap in the face and so incredibly humiliating.

And to post it on facebook when he KNOWS we have mutual friends, I mean is he absolutely heartless?? I WANT HIM TO SUFFER.

I'm just so worried about my emotional health. He has put me through so much and now this is the final straw. As far as I'm concerned, he is a sperm donor.

I hope Karma kicks him in the ass. He has done me so wrong, I can't even believe I ever cared for him. He really fooled me but I'm the one who feels so FOOLISH.

Any words of courage and advice would be helpful.

xoxo
L

L , i know this may have already crossed your mind but could he have been seeing this new girl while you two where still together? And as another soon to be single mother ,I think you have every right in the world to want him to hurt as much as you do , i know how you are feeling right now and can sympathize . I believe you did the right thing by informing his new girlfriend that he does have a baby on the way and does not want to take care of his daughter.

Good luck to you , and congratulations on your little girl .

Hi L,

I know how you feel. I too am in my early 40's with a great job, education, friends and got pregnant by an a$$. He walked away the week after I told him I was pregnant and told me he needed to figure out how this baby would affect his life. He was very mean to me throughout most of the pregnancy and I foolishly continued to keep him updated on the baby, let him come to appts, etc. I now wish I could take all that back because he was a total a$$ once she was born as well. He was nice to me for all of three months at the end of the pregnancy. Not for me but for himself.

DO NOT THINK THIS IS ABOUT YOU. It is about the loser that fathered your daughter. He is incapable of being a real man. It was humiliating for me as well but no one else thought that except me. I lied to most people and said that we both wanted a child and decided to have one together. I was too embarrassed to tell the truth. Well, now I tell the truth. The only person who benefited from my lie was FOB. Everyone who sees his post on facebook knows what a pig this guy is, they do not think poorly about you. Believe me, I have been there and done that. I felt so foolish I can't begin to tell you. But now I see that beautiful baby that I thought I would never have and all that goes away (mostly, sometimes I still hate him because he is hate-able.)

He can date anyone he wants, it's easy for him. I think my FOB was dating someone when I was pregnant and I know he has had a new girlfriend since DD was two months old and they all spend the weekends together. It makes me sick that they play house with my daughter and all I can hope is that the new gf is good to my daughter. You have no idea what these guys tell the women they date. If he told the truth most women worth dating would run and run fast.

Take care of you. Try not to make yourself sick over this so-called man. He is not worth it. You have a little girl that needs your love and nurturing. I know it's hard, so very hard. I was depressed for the first few months and then found the strength to pull myself out of it because I know it was best for the baby I was carrying.

Good luck to you.

I am so sorry you are going through this right now and don't for one second think you have anything to be ashamed of.  You have every right to want to see this guy hurt and want him to at least feel SOMETHING.   I know it is tough right now, because your life is forever changed and his goes on as normal with no worries.  It is so unfair and should not be allowed, but really aside from CS, what can you do?  Sadly we cannot make these deadbeats be real fathers and from the sound of your guy, do you really want someone like that around your child?   It is a huge slap in the face that he could leave you while preganant and move on to someone else.     So feel free to vent, cry or do whatever you have to do to get though this.  If you have friends and family lean on them right now, do be ashamed of what happened to you, because it happened to me too.

I was 38 and already a single mom to a 10yr old when I became pregnant.   I was so upset with myself, because I was usually a little more responsible than this.   My EX and I didn't have the conventional relationship, it was more that I cared about him way more than he did me.  I tried to break it off a few times and he kept coming back, so I really thought he did care about me.  When Iwas pregnant he wanted me to abort.  He did come around during my pregnancy and turned into a huge support.  I fell in love with him while pregnant and really thought maybe he did love me too.   We never lived together and I lived 1hr awayfrom him because Imoved close to family when I didn't think he was going to be around.   I wish to this day he would have let me go when I was pregnant because he set me up for a major letdown and heartbreak.  When our son was 7months, he left me for another woman that he loved.  I was devistated to know not only was I never good enough to love, that I was a fool thinking he cared when he didn't.  He didn't want to be the bad guy so he tried to love me but couldn't.    Talk about being humilated.  Add to this is the fact that my best friend is his sister and I have known him and his family for years.   I cant' just shake this guy loose.    Now he parades this GF around to all of his family functions that I used to go to.  And he plays house every time he has my son which hurts like hell knowing she is taking care of my child.  

Sorry this turned into a book, but what I am trying to say is it may be better that this guy bailed now, then to lead you on.   He is a total ass and don't be surprised if he tries to come sniffing back when it falls through with this girl.  My EX did that to me, so I was basically dumped 3 times for this homely chick, because I am sure a hell of alot better looking than she is.    Just try to hang in there and I know it sucks big time for you now, but it will get better.   Oh yeah take his sorry ass to court for CS and Custoday.   He may not be ready to be a parent, but he can sure as hell help support your baby.   good luck