Deciding to Try

Long story short: We have one child, DH didn't want any kids, but agreed to one and is very happy about our son but now I'm thinking I want another one. But I am unsure about how I feel. I think if he was 100% on board I'd really want another one, but since he isn't I'm just not sure what I should do.

Should I try to push the subject, or just be happy with the child I have? I have PCOS so really the first child was a miracle in itself, maybe I should just be happy with what I have and not want more, I don't know.

I feel so confused and so unsure. Some days I am really wanting another baby, some days I definitely do not.

And I am starting to panic because I am 29, getting ready to turn 30-I always said I didn't want to have children after 30 but now...I just don't know.

Any help, advice, etc would b

I guess I'm a little confused.

Your husband already told you the first time that he didn't want kids.

He "gave in" and somewhat reluctantly made a child with you.

Now he is once again making it VERY clear that he doesn't want any more children.

If you want another baby, then divorce your husband, marry another man who wants a child and then try to conceive.

But your current husband doesn't want another child, so I'm not sure what advice you are looking for?  Are you wondering if you should go behind his back, get pregnant anyway and force him to have another child with you?

I'm not trying to be harsh here, but I'm not sure what you are asking us here.

Wow the previous poster was rather rude.

I think men are programmed from day 1 that having kids is the worst thing in the world that can happen from having sex. I think that tricking a guy into pregnancy is a bad thing to do, so don't listen to anyone who tells you that. However I do think you should tell your spouse how you feel. I always thought I only wanted two kids, but one day I asked my SO what HE wanted, and he told me he wanted maybe 5 kids. While I don't think I can have 5 kids, I am open to what he wants. I have decided not to say NOW when I am done as I don't know how I will feel in the future. I think you should tell your husband you want another, but don't rush or pressure him to make it soon. It's not the end of the world to be pregnant after 30, infact you're not even AMA (advanced maternal age, high risk) until after 35 and there is no reason why turning 30 should prevent a safe and healthy pregnancy. If you're still having doubts then definitely don't try to do anything now. You want to be sure this is what you want. Your son is not yet even 2, so it's not like there would be a huge gap if you waited a year or so and thought about it. Who knows, maybe just putting it out there you want another one and then giving your husband some none pressured time to think he may decide he wants another one too. Maybe you should discuss with him what HIS reasons are for not wanting another. No matter what you two decide, having a real conversation about having a baby would do you both some good and help you guys understand each other a little better. A baby should be wanted by both parents, not just one, or it can lead to some major unhappiness in the home. Goodluck in whatever you guys decide! :)

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Please understand---I was absolutely not being rude----I was telling the truth from the outside looking in, and only going by what the OP posted.

The OP made it very clear that her husband didn't even want the first baby, but gave in to her demands to have one.  It's not like he was all gung-ho for even the first baby, and then is "kinda not sure" if he's "ready" for another.  I could be wrong, but from the wording of her original post, she made it sound as though he never wanted to be a father at all in the first place.

She also indicated that he said he definitely does not want another baby.

Of course open communication between the two of them is vital!  But what don't women "get" about it when their man says very clearly that they don't want another child? 

I do not believe that men are programmed not to want children.  Both sexes feel the biological desire to have offspring.  Of course for men, it comes at a later age than for women.  I am not sure how old most of you and your spouses are.  Maybe that's the issue.  If you are both under 25 years old, then that could be part of the problem.  Women mature faster than men---so a 24 year old woman may be ready to have a baby, where a man is more likely to feel the call of fatherhood when he's closer to 30.

And again,  please understand---it is certainly not my intention to come across as rude.  I am just trying to point out the obvious.  Yes, she could tell him she wants to try for another baby.  She could explain all of the resons why SHE thinks it would be a swell idea.  But in the long run, if his decision is still no, for ANY reason, she has to respect that!  And as I said, if her desire to have another baby is that powerful, then it's only decent to divorce him and marry someone who wants another child with her----not force her current husband to father another child against his will.

That's all I was trying to say.  Sorry if it came across as harsh, but I am just being totally honest.  I even said as much in my post.