Deciding to Try

Hi all,

I'm very new here - and am really just seeking out a way to vent and get some support (although I'm not sure why I am feeling so frustrated right now!). Maybe writing it out will help:

My husband and I decided several months ago that we were going to start trying for a baby this winter (after we return from a trip to Europe in December). I stopped taking the pill about 5 months ago, just to get a few good cycles under my belt beforehand. I've been keeping track, and have been experiencing regular 26-27 day cycles since I went off the pill.

Over the past two weeks or so, I've been noticing some weird "symptoms" - including increased sense of smell, increased saliva production, and mild cramping. I googled these things, and learned they can all be very early signs of pregnancy. I dismissed that idea, though, because we have been *very* careful with condom use - remember, we aren't trying quite yet!

We are also training for a half marathon, and the last couple of weeks have involved some pretty serious long runs (8-10 miles).

Anyway, today is day 28 of my cycle, and I haven't started my period yet. Based on my previous cycles, I think this can be considered 1-2 days late. In my rational mind, I think the increased running can explain this.... but maybe not?

I found myself getting really distracted with "what ifs" so I went ahead and took a test. It was negative, and I'm feeling really sad about it. I'm not sure why, since we weren't even trying! If anything, a pregnancy *right now* would get in the way of some important and fun plans set for the next couple of months! But, alas, I can't shake the feeling.

My husband isn't being particularly sympathetic - I think he thinks I'm a little crazy for taking the test in the first place. I think he fully expects a 4-6 month "trying" period, so any month-to-month disappointment will just bounce right off of him.

Are any of you dealing with unsympathetic partners? Confusing feelings about negative tests - when you weren't really trying to begin with?

Thanks for listening!

Hello & Welcome. Ahhh the dreadful bf. Yes I can say I have been almost in your shoes as of last cycle. DH & I aren't trying yet, but I was not having regular symptoms that I always have, for some un-known reason to me my cycle just up and changed the amount of days and also I just magically lost my typical symptoms associated with af. Like you we weren't trying, but in my case I've been waiting for a very long time for dh to decide if he is actually ready to start trying. So when af showed, I was VERY disapointed too.
Imo I would think that the added exercise-the 8-10mile runs may have actually thrown your cycles off. I do believe i Have read somewhere serious changes in your everyday routine small and big can have an affect on your cycles. With my last cycle I kept telling dh I thought I could actually be pg, but he just dismissed it and kept saying no way. He unlike your dh belives it will happen first try no matter what time of the month it is. I hope you can indeed shake the feeling and move forward but bf can be a very confusing, and hard time to pass! GL

I think you're absolutely right that the running could be throwing your cycles off. In fact you can actually stop ovulating if you are active enough because all that physical activity triggers your bodies "defense mechanism" to conserve energy..... blah blah blah I can't remember the exact physiology of it but your hormones could become a bit out of balance. I wouldn't stress to much about that now. Even a cycle longer than 28 days is fine as long as it's ovulatory which can be difficult to know unless you are charting or paying attention to your fertility signs.

That being said I completely understand the emotional let down even though you aren't actively trying. I to have that feeling and I actually have an IUD, lol. Talk about being silly. It's totally normal to feel that let down because even though you don't want to try right now you're open to having a baby and I'm sure a pg would be a welcomed blessing even though your rationale mind is busy preparing for a trip and making other plans. I don't believe men truly understand the monthly paranoia and guessing games that we play with ourselves so it's difficult to have a sympathetic ear. Hang in there and feel free to come here with babyfever anytime. :)