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last visit to this board
3/6/2004


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Question about holding 1 twin back

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message #:
  2815.5 in response to 2815.4
replies:
  6
from:
  kgo724
to:
  twinmom2298  Member Icon
date:
  3/6/2004 2:50 pm

Hi Heather!

Boy am I glad I came out here. We are dealing with this exact same problem w/ my twin boys who are in kindergarten this year. We chose to keep them in the same class this year because we/they were not ready to be seperated. The teacher has assured us we made the correct decision. They are seperated in the classroom by sitting at different teams but it's comforting to know their brother is across the room.

Austin is doing great, right at grade level and is a complete perfectionist. Bryan is struggling. Although he's shown great improvement over the last few months he's at the level the other kids started at in September. Bryan has a growth disorder called Noonan Syndrome, he's very mildly affected with it. But learning problems are common with this disorder. We just met with the Child Study Team at the school to have him tested for LD and have an OT evaluation done. He was receiving speech and occupation therapy through the early infancy program in our county until he was 3 and then received speech through the school system. He's getting speech two times a week and is also pulled out of class 4 times a week for a reading resource. He has a hard time holding a pencil and gets very frustrated when he's writing.

My fear is the same as the others have expressed - what will it do to them emotionally having Austin go on to the first grade. My worries are - will holding Bryan back in kindergarten help him learn what he didnt learn this year? Or are the delays he has causing him no to learn the things he's having trouble with. And will holding him back even help? He met with the diagnostician on Thursday, the OT observed him in class and will do a formal eval on him soon. We are waiting to hear from the social worker for her part. They have 65 days to complete the testing so we'll meet again at the end of May and see what they say. My heart breaks to see him struggle the way he does.

Why don't kids come with handbooks on how we are supposed to handle these situations? :-)

Kim
mom to Brittani 15, Bryan & Austin 6 yrs old

 
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last visit to this board
3/26/2004


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discussion title:
 

Question about holding 1 twin back

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message #:
  2815.6 in response to 2815.3
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from:
  chicchic
to:
  casmommps
date:
  3/26/2004 1:19 am

Hello there:
I just popped in to see what was happening. I have only frequented this board and never posted, but I felt it was important to say something now.
I have experienced the same kind of confusion and frustration you are feeling now and I can only give you the advice that a friend gave me and that "be an advocate for your child". Having said that I need to tell you my story. My boys went to Kindergarten at our local school and after just a few short weeks the teacher wanted to meet with us. One of our children wasn't fitting in to the classroom like the other child and we were told that he was probably delayed and should be sent home to come back the following year and do Kindergarten then when he would be more mature. My husband and I were very distressed and we met with the principal. The teacher said that Liam was not attentive and wandered. Rather than dealing with the situation they wanted to just dump him from school. However, we fought back, no way were our two boys going to be in separate years. After a lengthy battle with our emotions we felt it was best to send Liam to a private school where he would have more one on one attention and would thrive better in this environment. Our other son continued at his school. Liam did thrive and after he moved to the private school we contacted Resources for exceptional children (a service where people will come into a classroom environment, observe child and give suggestions to the teacher to better teach this child). It turned out that our son had ADHD not immaturity and with the right teachers Liam blossomed. He gained self-esteem and thrived in school. We kept him there for his whole Kindergarten experience (JK & SK) while his brother continued on at his school. They both entered grade 1 this year at the same school (not the private school, but the public school who rejected him) They are in separate classrooms, but are side by side. Liam tentative at first and unsure if he would be accepted has thrived. As for academically behind....he's not, in fact, he is a better reader than his brother right now. The schools cannot hold a child back against your will. If it's your desire that they continue on to the next grade there's not much the school an do about it. Also, as the child develops a "modified" program can be put in place that will help him better cope with the grade at hand. Sometimes it's just easier for teachers to kick them out, but stick to your guns. Hold fast and firm, this is your child's life they are playing with....don't let them.
By the way Liam's report card came home and he got all "B's" across the board...not bad for a kid who was too immature and not ready for school yet.....didn't he proove them wrong??? Good luck and hope things work out for you
Regards
Paula

 
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