Last week I broke up with my son's father after we got into a argument (stupid one anyway) and he choked me and was pushing his head into mine. He then pushed me down while I was holding my son Isaiah and chasing us through the house. After I had got him out the house I started getting threatening calls from him and he was saying he should have kept choking me. This happened Tuesday then Wed when I went to work he was calling my job threatening the people I work with and harassing my boss so I left work early to file a report and a restraining order which was granted. He was still calling me constantly over a course of two days he called 61 times. He started calling my house threatening my mom and saying he was coming over here. I just went back to work yesterday because we have no real security at my job so the police told me to stay home. He has a court date Wed for a domestic battery case against two people (wife he told me he divorced and her boyfriend) so I just hope that she goes to court (because she is crazy too) and follows through with it. I go back to court on the 23rd to hopefully extend the emergency order of protection for two years is what I am hoping. I have been with him for two years and been trying to leave him for almost ten months now. My son will be 10 months on the 14th and is the most innocent boy ever. I am doing this all for him but I just need people to talk to. I go see a domestic violence counselor Thursday. I just really want him to go to jail because he is violent unstable suicidal and I just want to move on from this. I don't know whether to talk to a lawyer I have like zero dollars. He has taken the little money I had left. I just feel so stupid for staying this long knowing he was abusive and controlling. So any advice or suggestions tough love whatever I'm willing to take it so I can start being a better mother to my son. Thanks for reading!
welcome. *hug* i'm sorry u have to deal w/ the things u are dealing w/ while trying to take care of ur babyboy. i'm glad that u called the police and took action bc its not right what he's doing. i've never been in this situation but i've been verbally and mentally abused to some extent w/ the relationship i had w/ my sons father and i know how hard it can be bc they always try and make u feel as though ur the bad person when ur really not. ur doing the right thing for u and ur son and u need to stay strong and stick to it. my friend is now in a relationship w/ a man who is abusive towards her and he just recently punched her and broke the whole right side of her face and nose and did it infront of her 3 year old son and her son understood everything that went on. he was screaming crying and now walks around telling people "mommys boyfriend broke her nose." her sons father heard from him and is now filing for full custody of their son. she is still w/ him and he's hit her since and she will always make an excuse for it but knows it isn't right. it will never end and will only get worse. u are doing the right thing by removing urself and ur son from the situation bc u don't want ur son to see any of this happen to his mother. u are the best thing that has ever happened to that little boy and u need to keep it that way. i hope u start feeling better soon! stay strong and we're here if u need to talk! xo.
its hard to go through such difficult things, especially when you are trying to do what is right. you need to focus on taking care of your child, and keeping safe.
{{HUGS}} I know what you're going through! My daughter's father was abusive physically, emotionally, and mentally towards me for 2 1/2 of the 3 years we were together. Ex-girlfriends had restraining orders against him so I should have taken the clue in the beginning but I didn't. I struggled for over 2 years trying to decide how to leave him and the next before I found out I was expecting I just upped and left. I don't know what made me do it that night but I did and I'm so thankful for that.
FOB sounds like a real idiot. You're an extremely strong woman for leaving and it's for the better. Both you and that handsome little guy of yours are far better without him. I know it's difficult at first but it does get easier. Pursue the restraining order, make sure it becomes permanent. File for sole custody of Isiah. If he's physically abusive towards you chances are he'll be the same towards him some day, not to mention that children learn by example especially during the first couple of years. Stay safe. Move in with family, change the locks, deadbolt doors. My ex used to sit in front of my house for hours on end after Madeline was born, made threatening calls towards me while I was pregnant and after. He soon found himself in jail for violating the restraining order and his parental rights are in the process of being terminated.
If you need to talk, feel free to shoot me an e-mail!
