Single Moms

So I used to come on here ALL the time when I was pregnant. After I had my daughter haven't had much time!

But once again I'm in need of an opinion from other lovley ladies that uderstand what I' m going threw.

Just a re-cap my daughters "Dad" left when I was two monthe pregnant after trying to stress me into a misscarriage. I didnt even hear from him until about 2 days after she was born he texted me set up a few times to see her and of coarse when they time came he "had to work" or "his phone broke" or "I sent you messages all day why didnt you respond!" (Classic right?! my phone worked for everyone but you I'm sure!)

After about two weeks of that I stopped hearing from him, He never saw her. I havent heard from him since she was 2 weeks old. She is now 6 months old.

I'm doing very well, I've got a new job I'm going back to school I can afford everything just fine, (shes not in daycare yet when daycare comes money might be tighter) Alot of my family is angry that I refuse to go after child support.

Their point of the arguement "she's his responisbiltiy he needs to pay" - ok true

My point- My daughter does not go without in any way I can provided everything she needs and doesnt need for that matter (yea shes spoiled lol) If I come to the point when I'm struggling you bet I'm going to go after him before I let her go without. But why do it now I know he will just try to do anything and everything to make me mad. And I dont want him to just come around to spite me cuz I'm making him pay. I want him to come around because he WANTS to be there for her.

So ladies,

Am I crazy for being so stubborn and not making him pay or do you understand where I'm coming from? I've also talked to my attorney he says I can always go for back child support if needed later on.

this is a tough one because there are strings attached and all kinds of craziness.

Something to think about-

if he pays then he has a right to seek visitation and custody.

You can always seek child support later on

If you are able to support your child, then do that.

You're family has the right to be angry but will they shoulder the emotional strains if he starts acting up when you file for CS.

I tried to seek CS- and here's what happened to me:

He stalked me, tried accessing my bank accounts and phone records, sent me threats-

asked the judge for DNA, and when the test came back and we went to court (last week) - he cried poor man.

I ended up settling with him because I honestly did not want the stress of having to go to trial seeking the #- he's self employed so, he could write down whatever and I end with $50-100/month.

I have a cousin (I have mentioned her in so many posts)- and she went after him for CS and till this day (her child is 12) she has not seen a red cent from her father.

        

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Wow.. see, this is definitely hard. I had issues with this as well. FOB does not and has never paid CS. DS is 4 going on 5. In fact, FOB has not even seen him in over a year. Now, FOB got married in January or around there.. I have had some contact with him at the beginning of the year and was going to allow him to see DS and have a relationship with him. Until, I guess, his wife and family members got HIM to start talking crap. Now, all of a sudden after 4 years, he says DS is not his and that we need to set up a DNA test. Okay, so that's what got me. I then decided.. HEY, he is married, playing daddy and SUPPORTING someone else's child.. what about mine? What about HIS OWN child?? So I decided to file for CS. I am waiting for the hearing right now.

I always said I wouldn't put him on CS because I wanted to do it myself. That my son doesn't need anything from anyone who doesn't want to give it. I don't want anyone being forced into giving/paying/etc for my child if they don't want to. And that's fine. Because I give my son all the love he wants and needs.

On the other hand.. I finally took into consideration what everyone has been saying. He helped make him, he should help support him. So I'm giving it a try.

But honestly, it is up to YOU. Do not let anyone else tell you what to do or what you should do. You know best.