Termination Due to Poor Prenatal Tests

I just found this board & was hoping to get some prayer if possible. I completely sympathize with all of you. I cannot understand how a parent is supposed to make decisions such as this. It is simply the most heartbreaking time of my life.

At my 19 week apt & 1st ultrasound last Friday I was told there was a neural tube defect & was scheduled to see a specialist & genetic counselor. We prayed all weekend it was a mistake and bad equipment. On Monday our dreams were shattered. Our son, Wyatt has a huge hole in his back where his spinal chord is poking through and a badly deformed head. They did not let us see much of the pictures, but I didn't see much of a fully formed brain either. They kept saying "otherwise he's perfect". They tell us his condition is "not condusive with life" and although it is a Catholic hospital, they recommend termination.

We have made the arrangements as well as cremation and funeral arrangements and on Monday go for a final consultation and either Tuesday or Wednesday will give him up. I am counting the hours as I feel his little kicks and rolls inside me. I ache so badly to hold him. I cannot take this. I keep thinking of what he would look like. I have a son and two daughters. My son was so excited with hope of having a brother to share his room with. They are 6,4 and 3 and I know they will never understand what happened and they will not even miss him. My husband is devastated but I know I'm the only one who has to remember to breath.

Why is life so cruel? I feel your pain as I read all of your posts. The only thing I ask for is that you pray for my son.
Thank you.
Janine

I know what you mean about this board. I was so happy to find it, and I think it's so important to keep it going.

When I lost Bobby 8 years ago, I was Roman Catholic. It's amazing how those people in your life who are so religious can be so wonderfully supportive and non-blaming in a situation such as this. I often wondered how God could have ever put me in a situation like that in the first place. Why not just make me miscarry? Why make me decide whether my child lives or dies? It just didn't make sense.

But it kind of does now....

I have a beautiful daughter, and if you read my post about the beautiful Christmas gift, you'll see how mysterious an intention of God can be....'

Although I am no longer Roman Catholic, please know that you and your son are in my thoughts, and though we are strangers, we care deeply about what you are going through. Visit often, and know this...you can get through it...it's hard as heck, but you can, and you will.

Good Luck, and please let us know how you're doing.

Sarah

Oh Janine tears welled up in my eyes as I read your post. No one should ever have to go through this & I will pray for your son Wyatt, you & your family during this difficult time.

Tons of <<<hugs>>> & feel free to post here anytime. This is a very supportive group of ladies who really understand what you are going through.

JoAnn

~i~ Megan 12/05/02 our little angel
Lauren 11/16/03
John 10/19/05