Termination Due to Poor Prenatal Tests

First ((((HUGS)))) to you! In May it will be two years since I first came to this board. We lost our Jacob May 24th, 2004 at 23 weeks. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do! Some days are still harder than others but for the most part I have more good days than bad. It will get easier! You did a very selfless thing letting your little one go please don't let anyone tell you or make you feel any different. People can be pretty cruel when and if you decide to share. We decided to tell very close friends and family. Those that knew about the pregnancy and asked we just told that I miscarried.

Do you have a good support system? Have you thought about seeing a counselor? I chose not to but I also had a great support system and a husband that was supportive of the decision we made. I know that alot of the ladies that come to this board don't have the support they need during this difficult time. It helps to find someone not directly involved to talk to.

As for your age, I am 35 (almost 36 - eek!) and my DH is 40. We have one son that is 5. We still struggle with the decision to have another. Age is definatley a factor. In the last few months I've decided if it's meant to be it'll happen and decided that I am not going to worry about it anymore..

You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Take care,
Erica

First of all, ((hugs)) to you...I lost my Jessica in July 2002, also due to cystic tissue on the kidney and kidney malformations. At the time, I had a 5 year old DD, and I was almost 37 years old. It made me wonder about even trying again, the hurt was so huge. They tell you that the chances of it happening again are 1 in 15,000. Well, I'm here to tell you, we have all been that 1 in 15,000 already, so the statistics don't mean squat to us...we just want our babies with us and for the hurt to go away. Anyways, we did decide to try again, and my 2nd DD was born in October 2003, one month after I turned 38. Emotionally, the pregnancy was very hard...I never really bonded with her in-utero, because I was so afraid of something happening again, but in the end, it has all been worth it. I still sometimes wonder "what if" and what my Jessica would have been like. I take off work every year on 7/31, and do a little memorial thing for her, and I even got a tattoo on my left shoulder of 3 flowers on a vine, that represent my 3 girls. The hurt will lessen, really...it's kind of gradual, but it will.

((HUGS))

Dana (^i^ Jessica, 7/31/02)