Ectopic Loss

I know the title is cheesy!  But that is the question that keeps popping in my head (especially after watching way too much TLC!).  After 2 ectopics and one lost tube, I keep thinking to try would be like trying to put myself through hell again.  To not try, is selfish. 

After my #s went to "0" my MD put me on Loestrin (SP?).  In short I have not had a regular period since January (before the second EP).  With that BC this is common. But... I stopped taking them (because they made my whole body ache) about a month ago.  Still no AF. 

I am not suspecting PG because there has not been too many oppurtunities for that to happen (that is a totally different story, for a different board!!!)  So what the heck?!

SOOOO - back to that trying thing, I am soo confused.  One day I want a baby the next I think no way!  Deep down inside, I think I am trying to convince myself that I don't so that I don't have to try and be let down again. 

Thanks for listening, your thoughts are appreciated.

Oh yeah, should I be seeing a specialist after two EP and having one tube?

It's not unusual for it to take some time to resume normal cycles after coming off bcp.  I don't know exactly how loestrin works with the body, but my guess is that it it's suppressing your periods when you're taking it, it might take longer to work out of your system.  I'd say that if you don't have AF within 3 months of quitting the bc, then you should contact your doctor.

As for needing to see a specialist because of the two ep's and only having one tube, I'd say don't rush into it yet, unless there's a specific reason.  Were the ep's on the same side, and that side is now gone, or were they one on each side?  Have you had an hsg test to check your remaining tube and make sure it's open?  If things look good with the tube, then I'd say try on your own and don't rush to a specialist.  If there's an issue with the tube...well, then you may need assistance.

Your feelings/debates as to whether to try or not are pretty much normal for anyone who has experienced loss, especially multiple losses.  You've joined the "pregnancy isn't a rosy experience" club.  TTC, and becoming pg, means you put your heart out on your sleeve.  The decision for you is a very personal thing, of course...none of us can tell you what to do.  I know that with both of my losses (ep and m/c) I overwhelmingly wanted to ttc again, because I very much wanted a baby.  But like I said, it's different for everyone.  I hope the right answers will become more clear to you as time progresses.