To understand how and why everything happened the way it did, I'll have to tell you about my other children's births.
I mentioned the idea of having a home birth (attended by an MD) to my family, when I was pregnant with my oldest son. Everyone thought that was crazy. I went to every prenatal appointment, had every test, had 3 ultrasounds...the works. And even though I had discussed my wishes with my Dr., each and every one was disregarded. I went to the hospital for a non-stress test at 4pm, and my water broke. I was not allowed out of bed until Joshua was born, after 11 pm. I begged for drugs because they wouldn't let me get up and stretch my legs, but it was too late for drugs, they said. They cut me, against my will, and Josh was 'vacuumed' out.
With my daughter, Derian, I waited until the absolute last second to go to the hospital, because I didn't want a repeat of Josh's birth. I didn't even tell my husband I was in labor, or my water broke. He would've hauled me off to the hospital immediately. She was delivered in the same room of the same hospital, by the same ER doc. It wasn't horrible, but not the way I wanted it.
For my third, Evyn, decided to opt for a midwife. My insurance covered only one. She seemed capable and nice enough while I was pregnant. Our discussions were friendly, and it seemed my wishes were respected. But when it came time to deliver, she was a total B*&%h. She actually said to me (when I wasn't 'cooperating') "Do you want to deliver this baby yourself?". I wish I had.
So when I became pregnant with Zak, I knew the drill. It would be a 'high-risk' pregnancy because I've had 2 (slightly) premature births, I smoke, I am short and underweight, and because I didn't have early prenatal care. I didn't realize I was pregnant until he started moving, because I hadn't yet missed a period.
After Evyn's birth, a midwife was out of the question. So I chose to do it myself. I knew my family wouldn't approve, so I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant. My mother guessed, when I asked for her stethescope, I told one friend, and of course the father. That was it.
I ate well, took vitamins, weighed and measured myself. I got pretty good at the internal exams, too. And there was no doubt in my mind that it was a boy, even without an ultrasound or amnio.
I'd been having the bh for a week. I'd check my dilation, wander around the house, read a pregnancy book or ten, then check again. I stayed at 3cm for a week. The night before he was born, my youngest woke up, sick. I hadn't gone to bed yet, so I was up all night with her having the same mild contractions. She finally fell asleep at 9am, just as her father was leaving for work. He asked me if this was IT, and if he should stay home. I told him it was too early to tell for sure. I knew he would be home from work early in the afternoon, so I told him to go, that I was going to sleep, anyway.
I laid down about 9:30, and slept until I had to pee at 11. I felt the urge to use the bathroom in the other way, but decided I was too tired to poop, and went back to bed. I woke up again at noon, and had to pee like crazy. The contractions were still there, still mild, so I washed my hands and decided to check. In my mostly asleep state, I didn't recognize what I was feeling. It was the placenta, and bag of water, I realized later. I sent my man a text message 'i think you should come home', got myself a huge glass of water, and smoked a cigarette. He called me immediately. He said he had a half-hour of work to do, but he was an hour away. I knew he'd never make it, but I just said, "An hour's a long time." He swore he would be back asap.
I went back upstairs, to the bathroom, and was finally awake enough to poop. As I stood up from the toilet, my water broke. There was a decent amount of blood in the bowl, along with the biggest crap I've ever had. Time to check again. Wash my hands, feel inside - there's a baby's head Right There. No urge to push, no pushing necessary. I had the familiar sensations of impending birth - the wave of heat, and the cramps in my thighs. But, since I was home, I threw off my clothes, and stretched my legs. I didn't have home birth 'supplies' - we're not wealthy, or even middle-class - but I did have a basket of clean towels, which were all the supplies I needed. I threw a few on the floor, stood over them, and bent my knees slightly. Zak came out that easy! He was pink and perfect, but didn't breathe. Panic! But I blew gently at his face, and he took his first breath. He didn't cry, but made a little, cute, kinda squeaky baby gurgle. I wrapped him in a towel, got one for myself, and we went downstairs to call everyone, and tell them about the new baby nobody knew I was expecting.
I did, about 8 hours later, take him to the hospital. I wasn't sure if it was legal to have a baby by yourself. I didn't have internet access, had never heard of 'unassisted childbirth' or 'freebirth', nothing. I didn't even know anybody who had a home birth. But even without support and reassurance, it was still the best birth experience I've had.
Sorry this is so long, its been waiting a while to come out!
Zak Vladimir 2-24-2006
