Unmarried Partners

I have known my SO for about 10 years although we have only been together for 6 months. We moved into together knowing that each had other children from past relationships. My DS is 3, my SO has a DS 3, DD 4, DD 6. I took these children on as if they were my own. At first I really didn’t know if I could do it & I really didn’t like these kids. But over the months I feel in love with these kids, and said if I love this man I have to love these kids. (mom is not in the picture often) But all of a sudden in the last couple of months he has started to not like my child. The way he eats, drinks, sleeps, talks everything. What do I do? I know what I should do, but what do you do. Then there are other times when I see my SO really trying. At first it didn’t require so much effort on his part. My DS love my SO, even though his father is still in the picture, every weekend. What changes your feelings? I am so confused & just heart broken.

Sara

I think SO's go through phases of "involvement" and, like us have their good and bad days. (Ever have a day when EVERYTHING someone does gets on your nerves?).  Oftne these people that irritate us the most are the very ones we care most about (Think about it- it is true).  Your SO may just be having a "phase".  Feelings have probably NOT changed, just are evolving as all relationships do.

What helps keep my SO and son close are activities that are just for them.  If there is time (even just once a month)- set aside time for just the two of them.  Maybe it is joining cub/boy scouts with the "step-dad/SO" or a guys "movie night" or collecting coins togetehr.  Make it their time ALONE.  No mom- no other kids- no matter how they protest.  This time is VERY special to both my SO and son and I think it might help you as well.