I know there is a lot of scary stuff out there about so much medical intervention happening with births nowadays. But please don't let that intimidate you!
Whether you have a CNM or an OB, let them know that you are very adamant about not wanting to be induced or having an epidural.
For the first hours of labor, just stay at home. They tell you something like only going to the hospital (or birth center) when your contractions are 5 minutes apart, and that's not a bad plan, especially if this is your first baby.
A lot of women go too soon, and then the med staff wants to hook the women up to pitocin to "hurry things along", which makes labor super, unnaturally painful. Which then can make the woman tense up and be fearful and in pain, which makes her scream for an epidural, which can stall labor, which will make the OB want to push for a c-section, etc., etc., etc...
I'm sure you have done your homework and are aware of all this.
For most women, labor takes a long time, if you count it from the first labor "pangs". Hours, on average.
Anyway, when you get to the hospital and they check you, hopefully you're at LEAST 4 centimeters dilated, hopefully more. They might ask you if you want pain meds. Simply tell them NO. They can't force you to have medicine! Then walk around the halls with your hubby to get the labor progressing naturally and normally. They may want you to have an IV "just in case", but make sure it is a Hep-lock, which means that it is an IV that is inserted, but there is no line attached---it is just there in case. You should eat lightly in the beginning of labor at home, and you should definitely drink water during labor, non of that ice chip stuff. You wouldn't suck ice chips if you were going to run a marathon, would you? So don't let them tell you you can't. Just drink your water to keep yourself hydrated, and pee when you need to pee.
Anyway, eventually you will go through transition (8-10cm) and be ready to push. Push however feels natural to you. They cannot "make" you lay flat on your back with your feet in stirrups!
The other thing is, I never went to a birth class, nor did I use a doula or a midwife. For me, I breathed in through my nose slowly and exhaled through my mouth---making sure to take slow, deep breaths to keep myself and my baby well-oxygenated and to help with the labor pains. I closed my eyes, put my hands over my ears (so I wasn't distracted from my focus), and went "inside" of myself, picturing a tranquil beach setting in my mind. I instructed everyone, my husband and med staff alike, not to talk to me or touch me when I was having a contraction so that my focus was not broken. Everyone was different, but that is how I get through labor. So I didn't need or want a doula (and would not have wanted to spend money on one, I'm a bit frugal). I trusted my body and my instincts and had the confidence to labor exactly like I wanted to and how it felt natural to ME.
If you make it clear to the doc and staff that you do not want any meds, episiotomy, etc., then that should be the end of it! Episiotomies really can be avoided by not pushing too hard too soon, and by the doc helping to pull down and stretch the perineum as the baby's head is crowning. Or you can insist that they do NOT bring the subject of pain medication up at all unless YOU specifically ask for it. They may want to monitor your baby's heartbeat every hour, but there is NO reason that you need to stay on your back, in bed, strapped to a monitor!
Before my first birth (and even before the birth of my others), I read everything I could get my hands on about natural and unmedicated childbirth. I think that is why I went into the labor process with confidence amd determination that I wanted to and COULD do this naturally.
So after all that, I would have your baby in the hospital (to aleve your husbands fears if he doesn't change his mind), but make sure you go to an OB practice that understands that your desire is to have an unmedicated, natural childbirth. Be open to the possibility that you may need necessary intervention if there really is one of those rare problems during labor/delivery, and don't be all "militant" to your OB about your birth plan and that it is iron-clad. I have found that if you, as the patient, are respectful of their concerns and advice, then they will be more respectful of your choice to birth naturally as well. I think that when some women go into a doctor/patient relationship insisting that their birth plan be followed to a "T", then the OB gets frustrated because things can sometimes go wrong. But like I said, if you show your OB that you have educated yourself and feel confident in your decision to labor and deliver unmedicated, then they will support you.
I always felt that I ws lucky to have all my babies delivered by women OBs who were also moms. I don't know if I would have gotten the same empathy and understanding by an older, male OB, if that makes sense. JMHO.
And the truth is, giving birth naturally/unmedicated is not "hippie", it is simply the way nature designed us to give birth to our young. Your husband is afraid because he is not educated/informed on how childbirth really works. I want to possibly try a water birth this time (I am due with my 7th in January---my youngest are 16 month twins, born vaginally, second breech), but my husband is scared and a little freaked out. So I can understand that your husband is just scared right now also. It's still early yet----he'll probably come around, especially if he sees that you are confident and secure about your decision to go natural. Something like a Bradley class may be great for you two, especially for him, to see that there is nothing to be nervous about.
Sorry so long-winded, but I hope I have helped ease your mind a little. I think the key here will not be your husband, but the OB/midwife/practice that you choose to deliver your baby.
Good luck! :)
