August 2007 Expecting Club

I was thinking about all the pressure everyone puts on new moms to breastfeed.  It's not right!  Everytime I open a Babytalk or American Baby magazine there are several articles about breastfeeding, weaning, etc.  But how often do you see an article about bottle feeding, which bottles are best, or formula??  Not nearly as often!  Even reading in my What to Expect the first year book someone asks a question about feeling guilty for not wanting to breastfeed.  The respone:  KEEP TRYING.  It's ridiculous!!  When I was in the hospital they had this channel called the newborn channel and every other commercial said something like "Babies were born to be breastfed!"

What about the women who don't produce or have an illness and they can't? Or the ones who simply don't what to?  Is it right to make them feel like crap and like bad mothers because they aren't doing what is best??  Having a baby is hard enough already without the added stress of this. Yes, I understand breastmilk is best.  I'm pumping and breastfeeding my daughter currently.  And I totally support women to breastfeed in public or breastfeed their child until their 2 or whatever.  But formula isn't that bad!  And the moms who use it shouldn't feel guilty or shameful.  I think there is a sense of shame involved.  Like when I asked one of my best friends who had her baby on 8/9 if she was bottle or breastfeeding.  She said bottlefeeding, then got quiet, and said "I know you're breastfeeding and I really wish I could to and...etc etc"  It was like she had to jusitfy her reasoning!  I told her forumla feeding was fine and she shouldn't have to explain herself like she is commiting a crime. 

Who else agrees? 

PS.... Other breastfeeding mommies... Don't take offense!  I'm BFing too but it just irritates me how much pressure we are under to do this. 

I think the pressure comes with trying to correct the harm done by the government. About 30-40, maybe a little more years ago, women were being strongly encouraged NOT to breastfeed and that formula was actually better. (and this was coming from the government) So it created a cycle where women viewed their breasts as for pleasure only. I actually have met many women who thing that breastfeeding is really gross. This I dont understand as it is the most natural thing in the world. BUT like you I agree that if a woman doesnt want to thats her choice to make. I do however understand the pushy promotion.

Brooke

Thanks for this post. I am totally there with you. I registered with the corporate lactation svc through my job. And they call to follow up after my DS was born. However when I told them about my issues regarding breastfeeding I didnt find them very supportive. It was almost like whatever u do make sure you breast feed. Right now I am nursing and giving expressed breastmilk (EBM). Every now and then I give formula if my supply OF EBM IS LOW and DS wont stay on the breast for long. Right now my left hand is hurt so I can only comfortably breastfeed on one side. I am pumping as much as I can during the day.

There is so so so much pressure. I really believe that I am doing my best. I was only breastfed for a month because my mom's supply started to run low. I think I turned out ok.

I definately agree with you.   For the life of me, I can't get my son latched on properly, there seem to be many issues.  I don't know how much of it is truely my fault vs. just the situation, since he was (is) tiny and has many other contributing factors like not wanting/being able to open wide enough or philange (sp?) correctly, etc. but I digress.  My point is that I am technically BFing, as I am pumping and giving him the milk and to date, have not supplemented with formula.  But I am also bottle feeding, since that is how we give him the milk.  So I am kinda doing both at the same time.  I love some of the aspects of bottle feeding, like being able to go out without worrying about how/when to BF him when he's hungry and that others like my husband can now bond with the baby by feeding him.  But I do still feel guilty that I can't get it right and am not willing to suffer any more pain to "keep on trying".   I feel like a failure, even though I haven't had to give him formula (not saying there is anything wrong with it, just that's how most people define 'failing' at BFing), but because he is not on the breast.  I do worry that my supply will run low/out without the true stimulation of BFing, but so far that has not happened (keep your fingers crossed for me).  I don't think it's right for anyone to feel like they are doing anything wrong if they don't breastfeed.  I did it for a week and half, but then it was just too painful and I actually began to dread feedings and became frustrated and almost resentful towards my son due to the latching problems.  At that point my husband and I decided to do what we have done for the last week and half.  I don't see how being a martar and suffering pain just to continue BFing, at least in the traditional sense and risking the relationship with your child is worse than giving them formula.  Just my opinion, even though I do support BFing.  I guess I support whatever works for you and your baby.

Stephanie

Mom to Oscar 8/25/07