Bio Moms

My kids' step mom is a social worker and is apparently an expert on all things children, even though she has never had any of her own.  Everything is my fault yet she doesn't see the sick dynamics between her hubby (my ex) and his/my kids.  Ex and step mom hardly ever take the kids, yet they don't want to pay child support and rarely do anything for the kids that isn't self serving.  Yesterday, my daughter called me 12 times on the phone, 5 while I was lying down with a headache.  She let me know that her dad gave her a cell phone and it was up to me to go buy her a phone card to use.  This was obviously unbenownst to me.  I told her I refused to do that and wasn't feeling good.  She continued to call me until I finally had to talk to step mom.  I told her that I didn't appreciate being called and harassed about something that I didn't agree to.  I told my kids I would buy them cell phones when I could, and still plan to, but in the meantime their dad agreed to let them use a couple of his phones.  Step mom got upset with me, told me how hurt and upset the kids were that I was "breaking my promise" to them and not buying them cell phones.  She and my ex have my kids brainwashed.  Step mom is a saint and I am an awful mother.  I explained to her that I had that conversation with the kids and they knew I would be buying them later.  That wasn't good enough for her, she continued to act as though she was looking out for the kids, when really her issue is that I receive child support (and not much) and "why can't I buy the kids cell phones."  My daughter has told me many times that her father has told them "when you get sick of living with your mother, you can come live with me."  This is what my kids are constantly exposed to by their dad and step mom, and step mom (being a social worker) CONDONES it!  She sits back idily and lets this happen knowing what she knows.  I was at the end of my rope last night.  11 text messages back and forth and I finally told her I had had enough of her, and she and my ex are sick and need to grow up.  I receive no support in child rearing, no back up when it comes to discipline and nothing but criticism and bad mouthing from ex and step mom.  I'm TIRED of it all!

There is something you can do about this.  It may cost you up to a couple hundered dollars, depending on the price of your atty. It is well worth the cost. I did this and life has been great ever since.  Hire an atty to have your CO amended to include wording such as:

Neither household (or party, to include step-parents) are to say anything negative to the child or in hearing of the child about the other parent or household.

Also include:

All communications about parenting the child(ren) (phone calls, emails, in person etc) will take place betwen the biodad and biomom.  No 3rd party intervention. 

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I can't remember exactly how mine is worded, an attorney will be able to word it for you - just tell him what you want in the CO.  Your ex does not have to agree to this, it will go in front of a judge and be done.  It should be autmatically put in all CO's these days.  Good luck!

I have all of that wording in my Parenting Plan but it does absolutely nothing.... I even had wording put in about "exchange clothing" becuase my son's step-mom would cut up (literally with scissors) the clothing that I would send my son to their house wearing.... then she would send him back in girls clothing (ruffle socks and all).... when he got older and spoke up about wearing girls clothing home she simply started shopping at the local Goodwill and would buy the most hidious clothing ever to send him back in! This woman is a real sicko. What I ultimately started doing was dying all of clothing black and sending my son back in it! Sucks I had to sink to that level but come on!

Anyway, I have wording up the ying-yang to protect agains this sort of bs but what it boils down to if the ex and his wife violate the CO or parenting plan.... you have to PROVE it.... in court.... you have to prove that they 'knowingly' and 'willfully' violated and then even IF you are able to prove this (which is damn near impossible) the only thing the court will do is slap their hand and tell them not to do it again.....

My ex and his wife have been told sooooo many times to knock off their bs but nothing ever comes of it and all it does is waste my time and $$ going to court.