Years ago, I used to lurk on this board. I know there are bio moms out there who have lived the same nightmare I've been through for the past 8 years. I'm writing this post to let you all know, there is always hope. Here's my story
8 years ago, I got divorced, was severely depressed, and broke. Then, a month later, my father had a massive heart attack. I went from NV to PA to visit for a few months, get my head together and help out my mother. While in PA, I decided I wanted to move the kids there with me and remain in PA. (I had left them with dad during what was to be about a 2 month stay). DD and DS were 7 and 4 at the time. I filed for custody, and lost. The courts decided there was no reason to move the kids, that dad did just fine.
EX got remarried to a person I saw as horrible, manipulative and down right mean. Nobody else saw it at the time, and just figured I was jealous this other woman was raising my two babies. Two years ago, I took EX to court again to try to gain custody. DD was doing horribly in school, DS had behavioral issues and still, stepmom was really mean and now the kids were complaining constantly to me about her. After 50K and a year of discovery, the judge threw out the case on the day of court hearing for lack of evidence. HUH???
A year goes by. Now in June 2009, I've finally accepted my fate that I will never have my children living with me, when lo and behold, while on summer visitation with me, DD, who is 15, decides to write her father a letter explaining all the reasons why she would be better off living with me. She not only advocates for herself, but her brother as well. She shows me this letter after it was completed. I didn't know she was writing it. She decides to mail it to dad and see what happens, although she herself is convinced he'd never allow the move but she still wants to try. A week later we get a phone call from dad. Shocked and upset, yet surprisingly willing to discuss the matter. I told him I would pretty much stay out of the whole deal as it was his decision and between him and DD and DS. I have no money for lawyers or courts, nor do I have the will to have my heart broken again by a lengthy fight. I tell him all this. He asks basic questions about child support, schooling, religion, etc., and I give him all info he asks for, but that's it. I maintain my status as Switzerland. Hard as it was, I had to let the decision come from him and not try to influence. Three nail biting weeks go by. Then the phone call comes. His answer is yes. They can both live in PA with me. Now, my heart is finally full again. I have my beautiful children with me, where they have wanted to be.
I know there are moms out there who have lived my life and I wanted to share my story to tell them, never give up hope. There is always hope. The strength and courage of my DD brought us back together. Sometimes, miracles can happen, people can change and even those we think are the most hateful and spiteful beings, can have a change of heart for the love of their child.
