Colton is too little to really understand or miss her. When we talk about Ma Ma Donna, he points to the sky and waves bye-bye. I tell him every day some things about her, how much she loved him and called him MaMa's sweet baby, and talk about her living in Heaven with Jesus now. I want him to remember her, but he will only remember by looking at pictures and the stories we tell him. She really wanted him to remember her and she wanted to see him grow up. I'm sorry for him that he won't really get to know what a kind, loving, wonderful person she was, by seeing it for himself. He'll have our memories that we share, but it's not the same.
We're going on with life.... Trying to establish new "normals". Dad is doing amazingly well, but grieving for his wife of 44 years. When I go to their home, I see all her things, her nail polish, her tea sets, her shoes and clothes, just things that she touched and loved and though it brings some comfort, it's constant reminders of how much we lost. He lives there everyday, so to me, it would be so much harder on him, because I can go home to my baby and husband and play and try to resume some kind of normal. I didn't see her every day. He did everything with her and so much for her, especially in the last 19 months. But, we are all pulling together and keeping him busy. We have a wonderful family and friends and feel blessed that we are all pulling from her strength and in the wonderful memories we had with her. How awesome to have been given a gift of such a wonderful person in our lives for as long as we had her. Heaven got a gift, for sure.
