Hot Topic: Too Old to Be a Mom?

I've ventured far outside my own "little world" and I still think that 40's and 50's is too old to be having children.

It's been proven medically that older women have higher chances for downs syndrome, among other things. The physically ideal age for a woman to have a baby is 21. Just because society has changed, doesn't mean our bodies have. Evolution takes a very long time.

"I'm a liberal hippy ex-military mum who has crib slept, co-slept, breast fed, and formula fed my un-circumcised, vaccinated and forward facing son who I wore as much as he wanted, hug as much as he needs, and play with until I drop. It doesn't matter how you choose to parent. I believe that what matters is that you love your child."

That does apply to today.  What about 50 - 100 years ago when women in their 40s were still having healthy children?  Society changed since then and that is widely accepted.  But now that it is changing back it is bad? 

Personally I don't expect my desires to be imposed on someone else. . .or their views imposed on me.   We are all individuals who should be allowed to lead our lives (if not hurting anyone else or illegal) as we want.  Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.  And if happiness for me is a baby at 40. . .well, it's perfectly legal. 

And I had my twins at 40, naturally conceived.  So, God chose to bless me double - despite my age.   Couldn't love them more if I was 21.   :)

Something else to consider -

It is really easy at 20 to think you KNOW how you would feel at 40 about having another baby.   But realistically you don't know what the future holds.  Life changes can change your feelings on it.

I know at 25 I knew I would never have another child.   I had my first at 18, and my 2nd at 21 - I was done.   But life changed.  And so did I.   Now in my 40s I am able to compare myself at 20 and myself now and see the differences in me and know whether or not I'd be a good mother.   Something a 20ish year old can't do.   Perspective, life experience, etc.    

I find it amusing that people younger can judge where they will be in years to come.   I was shocked when my mother had her last child at 41.. .. .I even said to her that she was too old.    I was 19 at the time.   Now look. .. . I had my twins at 40.    Things change.   

But as I've said before, I wouldn't judge another person for not having the same viewpoint as I do about motherhood.   I would hope they would be equally respectful - but often they are not.

A couple things.

A cousin of mine did a family history. One of our mutual ancestors had a baby at age 48 (perfectly healthy, last of 11 or so). For that matter, my grandmother was the 10th child of her mother, no multiple births in there. Don't really know how old her mother was, but she wasn't young, that's for sure.

And, fwiw, I know myself well enough to see I would not have been a very good mother at 20.  I've seen folk who have done it well, but my children are lucky I didn't try.