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September 2008 Expecting Club

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have i held her too much??

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  15159.1
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  10/17/2008 9:25 am

Clare will only be 3 weeks old tomorrow and I'm worried that I've already gotten her used to being held/rocked to sleep too much!  When we first brought her home she would sleep in her boppy no problem.  But it seems like the past few days she must be held and even rocked to calm down. 

I lost it last night, DH is a very heavy sleeper and i'm breastfeeding, so not only am I the only one feeding her right now, but with any fuss I'm the one up wiht her because he can sleep right through it!  I told him I felt like I was doing this alone! It was a horrible thing to say and I hate that it came out! He will hold her when he's home from work, but he just doesn't cuddle her as much as me. If she starts crying it doesn't seem to bother him and all I want to do is go take her and rock her or cuddle the "right way" with her!

Before we had the baby we had talked about not holding her too much, making sure she could sleep on her own, not spoiling her.  Now that she's here I feel like that seems so impossible! I just want to pick her up when she crys, it physically hurts to listen to her scream!! The past few days she has seemed to be gassy so I think that has a lot to do with her being so cranky, but I feel like it could also be my fault for coming to her rescue so much :o(

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have i held her too much??

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  15159.2 in response to 15159.1
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  10/17/2008 10:27 am

As I write this, I am typing with one hand because I can't put my 3.5 week old son down! The past 2 days, anytime I put him down he cries! I don't know what changed these past few days, but he will not be put down by himself! But you can't spoil a newborn, they need to know that they can trust you to be there when they need you and that they are important enough to have their needs met by you. A baby isn't supposed to be allowed to cry it out until they are 6 months old. So I don't think that our kids are spoiled, they might just need more comforting than usual fir whatever reason these past few days.
I am breast-feeding too, so I am up with him at night. Sometimes I feel like a single parent because of that and I get resentful of my DH, but I have to remember that DH needs to be up for work at 6AM and I am not working. I know how you feel`and it can be frustrating and exhausting, but try to hang in there! Try to remember that this phase won't last forever, it is just a tiny part of the beginning of their lives. Sometimes when I am up in the middle of the night I feel like the only person in the world going through this tough time, but millions of moms are up doing the same thing at the same time! Know that I am up with you too! Good luck!
loramz  Member Icon
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have i held her too much??

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  15159.3 in response to 15159.1
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  loramz  Member Icon
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  10/17/2008 10:40 am

I also noticed that your baby is almost 3 weeks old. She might also be in the midst of her 3-week growth spurt. When Isabella hit that last weekend, I didn't get a whole lot of sleep b/c I had her in my arms all the time b/c she'd fuss, eat, sleep, continuously. Not fu, but I knew it was coming, so I was prepared. This week she's slept for longer stretches and if we're not on the La Z Boy, she likes to be curled up in her nursing pllow or swaddled. HTH!

Loral

 

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have i held her too much??

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  15159.4 in response to 15159.2
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  10/17/2008 11:30 am

Thank you! It is always good to know you aren't alone! Its the same situation with me and DH right now, I'm still on maternity leave and he needs to be up for work early.  Normally come morning I am better, but wind up super bitter in the middle of the night when he's sleeping and I'm up with her.  It can just be hard!! I feel so guilty for what I said to him! I know he's doing the best he can and if I ask for his help he'll give it.  I also have a hard time asking for his help because I don't exactly know what to ask! Its not like he can feed her for me!  I'm sure we'll get through it, its just been a rough few days and I needed to know I wasn't alone I guess.  Thanks again!! Good luck to us all in the middle of the night!!!

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have i held her too much??

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  15159.5 in response to 15159.3
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  loramz  Member Icon
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  10/17/2008 11:31 am

Is this 3 week growth spurt something common in all babies?? I've never heard of that before!
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