Stepmoms / Bio Moms Debate

Scenario:

JLC, CP mom maintains insurance.  NCP dad wants child to see a specialist for the equivalent of the common cold.  CP mom disagrees.  NCP dad schedules appointment anyway, during school time, and informs mom of his intent to remove child from school for appointment.  Insurance will not cover this now, but new insurance will in 2 months.  Mom sends message that she will consent to the exam when it is covered in 2 months, but is not giving consent now.

Dad indicates that he will pay for it, does not need mom's consent and will be keeping the appointment.

Mom does not interfere.

Is mom being "controlling" here?

I thought we just had a similar situation on the boards with the reverse-gender parents doing something (mom took kids to dentist on BD's insurance, BD got all p*ssy because she put the claims on the insurance)?  BD can take DD to any and all appointments he wants if it's allowed - you have JLC, right?  I have on occasion taken one of my children to an appointment that turned out to be unnecessary just to get a second opinion (other than my own).

However, I'd be wary - he's trying to build a case that you're unfit.  You turned up the heat with the filings (NOT saying it's wrong, just sayin'), and you know he's coming back at you with all barrels blazing.

You said it yourself "Mom does not interfere", so how is that controlling?

I think mom is in the right to express her disagreement. But once dad offered to pay it all himself, then mom's issue is over. There is no potential danger to the wellbeing of the child, so there's really nothing worth fighting over, imo.

He is not trying to build a case that I am unfit.  That would be stupid, since he allowed me to take her out of the country for 3 years without so much as saying "boo".  I don't think the judge would buy "unfit".

He is trying to build a case that I am interfering with his parental rights.  I am not consenting, but I am not interfering.  I paid over $400 for the necessary appointment.  He has yet to present a MEDICAL reason for the other one.  He just says, "It's my right."  Therefore, I have refused consent in order to not be put in a position to pay for 1/2.  He is free to use her insurance, when available  (vision, actually).  I will support the appointment then.  It's not necessary, so it CAN wait 2 months until there is no out of pocket costs.