The Parent Toolbox

I'm new to this forum, and I think I originally posted this in the wrong section! So here it is again and sorry if I'm duplicating!

I have just started the Nurtured Heart approach w/my 3 boys, ages 7, 9, and 12. The challenge I am finding is being able to muster as much enthusiasm for the positive that they do b/c I feel so worn out from the negatives. I guess it will become easier for me as I establish a consistent neutral reaction to problems.
My question is about the credit system: my kids want to pool their credits for certain privileges, and I'm not sure how to handle that. On the one hand, if it is an activity that everyone could participate in (for example, 1 way they can spend their credits is watching a nature show on a schoolnite when our schedule allows), it doesn't seem right to exclude some of them. However, on the other hand, the kids should have to earn enough for each privilege. Should I add a "surcharge" if they want to pool their credits? Any thoughts out there?
Thx in advance for any help!

Good morning and welcome to the board!  Please don't ever worry about posting in the wrong folder -- just reset and move on.

How long have you been using the Approach? 

I see your kids are getting creative and thinking outside the box!  That's not uncommon and it sounds like they're wanting to get as much as they can out of their credits.  

Here are a few suggestions to consider:
if they are pooling equally into the selection of the show, then yes, if it were at my house, I would let them watch it.  This demonstrates teamwork, sharing, and a few more traits that we want our kids to have. As to a surcharge?  Consider making the option of "pooling" credits part of that one night a week deal.  They're going to find a way to make it happen if they want it.  Do you have ways to earn bonuses or some freebies built into your ways to earn points?

If a child doesn't want to participate, that is fine and there should be other available activities that can be done in another room of the house.  For example:  Reading, playing a board game with another family member, or something else that might be on their ways to spend list or maybe even something that is free for that period of time.  

I hope these ideas help and maybe spur a few of your own that will work for you and your family. 

Good luck and keep us posted!  We'd love to hear what you disvoer works best for you and your family.

HAHA too funny Jan..I posted the same thing above abt equal share...before I even read your post !  hahaha

Sue!

You are so there!  :)  I hope you'll continue to hang around - your company is GREAT!